The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 36) January 2015

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

It's a brand new year and a brand new episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  This month the boys are not just joined by a Vern...they are joined by The Vern from The As You Watch Podcast and The Vern's Video Video Vortex.  They pop his Simplistic cherry with a good ol' game of Kill, F&%k, Marry.  And like all guests, the boys decide to go Inside The Podcaster with The Vern-man...yes...it's as gross as it sounds.  Also...Julie and Vern admit their feeling for each other.  All this and more on this January 2015 edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast

Show Notes
Bill Cosby
Deadpool Dead
No Bourne Crossover
Wolverine Dead
Quicksilver & Scarlet Witch No Longer Mutants
Fantastic Four Josh Trank Set Report
Batman v Superman Split

Music Notes
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme
G.I. Joe Theme
Thundercats Theme
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Inside The Actors Studio Theme Angelo Badalamenti




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Simply TV: Star Wars Rebels...And Inexplicably Star Wars: The Clone Wars

POSSIBILITIES

I am one of the few people who stuck with Cartoon Network's Clone Wars series.  All the way from its lackluster backdoor film pilot to its neatly completed Netflix series ender.  If you did as well, you got to see the series actually grow and change for the better.  You got to see a character who you thought would be nothing more than a sidekick that called Anakin Skywalker annoying nicknames like "Sky Guy", turn into probably the most compelling character of them all.  You got to see Darth Maul fleshed out...somewhat.   You got to see Obi-Wan and Anakin's much alluded to friendship.  You got to see a good villainous become an even better anti-hero.  And yes, you unfortunately got to see more Jar-Jar.  However, The Clone Wars is easily the best thing to come out of the George Lucas prequels.  And yet, it was still missing something.  It was missing that Star Wars feel.  What is the Star Wars feel you ask?  It's that excitement, tension and enjoyment you get from watching a rag tag group of unlikely heroes realizing their greater potential and taking on something much bigger than themselves.  That, to me, is Star Wars in  a nutshell.  David versus Goliath.  The Colonists versus The British.  The US versus the Nazis.  Pepsi versus Coke.  It's a feeling that Guardians Of The Galaxy had.  It's a feeling that even 2009's Star Trek had.  But regrettably, it's a feeling that Clone Wars and the Prequels never had.

RAG TAG EXPLORERS

RAG TAG BAD ASSES

I appreciate that both were trying to tell the story of the fall of the Republic.  However, the enjoyment and tension I had watching Han, Luke and Leia just trying to escape the Death Star or Jabba's palace was infinitely more enjoyable and tension filled than any prequel film or Clone Wars episode where dozens of nearly invincible Jedi Knights leap into battle with the support of millions of stormtroopers behind them.   It didn't feel like Star Wars to me.  Then thankfully the takeover happened.  Disney, on it's eerily unpublicized quest for world domination, bought out Star Wars from Lucas.  This opened the door for a new film trilogy and a new animated series to fill in the gaps toward Episode IV.  And this animated series, Star Wars Rebels, appears to at least be trying to get that Star Wars feel back.

Taking place only few short years after Order 66 and the new Galactic Empire wiped out the Jedi and  consumed the Galaxy, Star Wars Rebels follows a street tough kid strong in the force named Ezra Bridger.  Ezra winds up stumbling upon a group of rag tag mercenaries who appear to be mounting a rebellion to fight back against the Empire.  This set up and story is better suited for episodic Star Wars tales than Clone Wars was I believe.  Clone Wars fell prey to the "Lesson Of The Week" motif and really didn't have a strong overall story.  Mainly, because it was hamstrung as to where it could go since it had to tie in to the events of Revenge Of The Sith. (Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. had this same problem earlier in its run.)  The creation of the Rebel Alliance has never really been something fleshed out, and its growth is pretty much unrelated to Luke and Han's meeting and journey in A New Hope.  This gives Rebels a lot more freedom in my opinion.  The other thing that gives it freedom are its characters.

I'm sorry for the continuous comparison to Clone Wars, but I think that it is an inescapable comparison which really illustrates the POSSIBILITIES Rebels has by explaining what it does differently.  With that said, Clone Wars' main characters Obi-Wan and Anakin and possibly Padme were the weakest characters on the show in my opinion.  Where Clone Wars really thrived was its introduction of new or previously unexplored characters from Star Wars lore.  Characters like...

 Cad Bane

 and Rex

 and The Nightsisters

and Asajj Ventress(Yes, I know Genndy Tartakovski created her first, but she really grew on Clone Wars)

and the character with the strongest and most enjoyable character arc, Ahsoka Tano. 

These new characters were free from expectations and restraints to where they could go, making them much more enjoyable than mainstays like Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padme, Palpatine, and Dooku.  Rebels gets to start from scratch as well with a slew of  new and interesting characters.  There is the female Mandalorian explosive expert/graffiti artist named Sabine. (My personal favorite)  There is the muscle and hot head of the group, Zeb, who also has the distinction of being famed artist Ralph Mcquarrie's original visual concept for Chewbacca.  There is the Twi'lek pilot and moral center of the team named Hera.  There is the meaner R2-D2-esque droid named Chopper.  The co-lead is the aforementioned Ezra, who serves as the show's adolescent Anakin redo.  However, the wayward Jedi Kanan Jarrus will be the main reason the team and the series makes it or breaks it.  And that's primarily because he's voiced by Freddie Prinze Jr.

From Left To Right: Chopper, Hera, Kanan, Ezra, Zeb, and Sabine

Wait a second!!!  Just hold on!  I know Prinze Jr. isn't a particularly popular actor or celebrity for that matter.  I mean, the guy romantically reigned in Buffy Summers.  How can you not hate him just a little?  Although, I do see what creators Simon Kinberg, Carrie Beck, and David Filoni might have been going for when they cast him as Kanan Jarrus.  Kanan has the smugness and temperament of a Kyle Katarn with the tragic history of a Quinlan Vos.  For the basic Star Wars observer who has no idea of whom I'm speaking of...let's just say Kanan is Han Solo mashed together with a seasoned Luke Skywalker.  Playing a mouthy space scoundrel is not a hard thing for Prinze Jr. to do.  However, when he has to deliver the familiar Jedi platitudes, you can't help but cringe a bit.  Admittedly, it is hard to make Jedi philosophies sound natural. (Unless you're Sir Alec Guinness or Frank Oz)  I just hope Prinze Jr. can get the hang of it, as he'll be the one advising Ezra in the ways of the Force throughout the series.

The pilot episode only gives us a taste of the two main villains, but the talent behind their voices is top notch.  David Oyelowo plays the relentless Agent Kallus.  Oyelowo, who has starred in everything from Jack Reacher to the Butler, gives the typically effeminate Galactic officers a much meaner edge.   Playing the big heavy in the series, The Inquisitor, will be the excellently evil Jason Isaacs.  The Inquisitor's story might possibly be as interesting as Kanan's, seeing as he is an instrument of Darth Vader himself but not necessarily a Sith Lord. 

Aesthetically, the animation is a little more humanized than the blockier Clone Wars.  That visual change is good in some places but not so good in others.  You are always walking that uncanny valley tightrope with digital animation.  Though, I have no doubt that they'll lean more toward the cartoonish side as things go along.  The action scenes were some of the best things Clone Wars got right.  The fights and battles were well choreographed, with no punches pulled.  Rebels continues this aspect with three terrific action set pieces in the pilot, and some fights previewed for later on that you'll be dying to see.  An unfortunate hindrance to Clone Wars was its inability to use the musical score and familiar musical stingers of the legendary John Williams until the end of the series.  Rebels gets to fully use and play with those great themes now, which goes a long way to giving the series that Star Wars feel I keep harping on.

Star Wars Rebels is a welcome addition to the Star Wars universe and a series that seems to understand and want to explore its numerous POSSIBILITIES.  How did the Rebel Alliance grow?  How did Leia get caught up with them?  How did Mara Jade become the Emperor's Hand?  What was Obi-Wan doing all that time on Tatooine?  Why is Lando now the only black guy in space?  Sorry, that one's just for me.  Open up your holocrons...fasten your lightsabers...put on your Mandalorian helmet...watch it...then tell me I'm wrong.

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 26): June 2014

 FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

The end of June brings another edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  This month the boys discuss Batman's out of control property damage, play a game of Word Association, berate Chelsea Handler, swoon rather uncomfortably over Fargo, Godzilla's tail and Eva Green, then promote the Patrick Dempsey 80s classic Loverboy.  Yes, we are using "classic" loosely.  All that and more on a dog days of Summer edition of the Simplistic Review Podcast.

Show Notes:
Loverboy
DJ's Hidden Eli Wallach Reference
Mad Max Reboot
Pacific Rim 2 Announcement
Cloud Atlas Valleyspeak
Gary Oldman Apology
Jonah Hill Apology

Music Notes:
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul

Lawyers, Guns, And Money By Warren Zevon
The Best By Tina Turner
Across 110th Street By Bobby Womack
I Dream Of Jeanie Remix 

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: April 2014 Late Edition

On this late edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matt, DJ, and Justin try to catch up on the month that was April.  They take their turn ridiculing soon to be former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling then debut a new game called Simply Lying.  The losers of this game will have to watch and review the 2004 film Torque.  Yeah, they'd have been better off fighting to the death.  We do get a pretty decent Terrence Howard impersonation from Matthew out of it and learn some of the lesser known criminal activities of Samuel L. Jackson.  That, reactions to Star Wars casting, Julie's descent into HYDRA and much much more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

 Show Notes:
DJ's Hidden Princess Bride Reference
X-Men Days Of Future Past
Donald Sterling
Hail Hydra
Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome
Torque

Music Notes:
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Liar Liar By The Castaways
Lawyers, Guns, And Money By Warren Zevon
The Best By Tina Turner

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

Click HERE to listen to podcast

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Star Trek Into Darkness (DJ's Take)

FUN

Look.  I'm going to make this fast.  One, because I'm on the way to go watch this movie for a second time.  Two, because I want to try and stay as spoiler free as I can.  With a little introspection brought on by something well put from MovieBob Chipman in his own negative review of this same film, I'll admit my duty and privilege as a reviewer is to tell you if I thought a movie was good or not and to tell you why in either case.  It is not to preserve secrets, not to geek out, and not to just relegate myself as a proverbial cog in the already powerful marketing machine of said movie.  However, my objectivity sometimes waivers when a movie manages to personally effect me either emotionally, nostalgically, or both in this case.  So, I'm hesitant to just come out and say that Star Trek Into Darkness is the most FUN I've had in the theater since Skyfall.  I'm hesitant to just come out and say that it is the best Star Trek film I've seen since...you know what.  I'm hesitant to just come out and say that it gave me everything I wanted and so much more.  I'm hesitant to just come out and say that it will probably be the best summer blockbuster you'll see this year...PERIOD.  Hesitant not because it isn't all of those things.  Hesitant because if I do you'll chock it up to just tiresome Trekkie hyperbole.  But I'll risk it because...Star Trek Into Darkness is worth the risk.

To get into plot points of Into Darkness would ruin some of the films best moments.  So, I'll put it like this.  Into Darkness takes the best parts...THE BEST PARTS...of the original franchise's BEST films and literally puts them all into one balls to the wall action sci fi space adventure.  AWESOME!  It takes those nostalgic moments that fans loved from the originals... cleverly and surprisingly turns them on their ear...which somehow makes it suddenly into a new and equally rewarding experience.  BRILLIANT!  It managed to give me the FUN and the humor that Iron Man 3 gave me, but also give me the stakes and gravitas that Iron Man 3 didn't.  THANK YOU!   It surpasses all the best moments of the 2009 remake, which I loved by the way, in under twenty minutes.  STUNNING!  It, despite my  preconceived notions to the contrary, has some of the best 3D conversion shots I've seen...um...ever.  BEAUTIFUL!  And flatly, the film just works.  No matter what nit-picky flaw you could conjure, no matter what prejudices against Star Trek you carry, the film just works.  I attribute this to two overall things.  The cast and the director.

Whenever I see a tv show or film where the cast just doesn't fit or when I'm trying to explain actor chemistry to someone, I seem to always bring up Star Trek 2009.  When you have perfect casting in not just a film, but an iconic franchise, your stories can be literally about anything.  Hell, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home had the original crew go back in time and save whales for crying out loud.  And it was the highest grossing Trek film until 2009.  Why?  Mainly its because you just want to see these guys hang out and share their adventures.  That is why casting for the new franchise was, ironically, paramount.  With Into Darkness, the cast has bonded even more.  Even the tiniest interaction between two characters, whether it be Kirk and Spock, Bones and Sulu, or Uhura and Scotty, just seems to hit the mark every time.  The uninitiated can't help but feel the chemistry and the die hard Trekkie can't help but smile at the homages.  That is a testament to Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe, Karl, Simon, John, Anton and Bruce.  They understand their characters and have totally made them their own now.  It's house money the writers are playing with, and thankfully they don't just rest on their laurels with it.  The story and the dialogue is strong enough for each of the characters to shine brightly.  What about the newbies?  Well, Mr. Cumberbatch was an addition that I knew would be amazing, due to his previous efforts as Mr. Holmes.  Any amount of screen time for him is always going to be too little for me.  However, it is the performance by Peter Weller that is really going to stick out after you watch this.  Robocop himself, is so very strong here that  I found myself wondering why he doesn't work more.  Its a small role, but he totally knocks it out of the park.

I figured that this was going to be JJ Abrams mic drop as he exits the franchise for a galaxy much farther away.  And boy you can tell.  For those of you who were worried he'd sleepwalk through this after being given the reigns to Star Wars, fear not.  Abrams throws so much into this film it is amazing.  The action is flabbergasting.  Especially because I didn't figure there'd be so much of it.  However, Abrams does manage to let you catch your breath for the comedy and some really solid emotional moments.  He brings...I don't believe I'm saying this...balance...proper balance to this film.  My colleague Matt Stewart did say that this was going to be our best first look at what JJ will have in store for us in Episode VII.  And if that is true, The Force has nothing to worry about.

Star Trek Into Darkness is not only a great Star Trek film, but an action blockbuster that can hold it's own against any blockbuster film that has come before it (Sorry Iron Man 3) and will come after it (Your move Man Of Steel).  My favorite film of the year so far.   It has a lot of moving parts but never forgets to stay true to the thing that James T. Kirk covets above all things.  FUN.  Set course for it...maximum warp...chase it 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round Perdition's flames...watch it...then tell me I'm wrong.

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Sweet 16 Results: FILM BAD

HANNIBAL LECTER (1) WINNER

DARTH VADER (4)

If there was any Star Wars character in need of psychotherapy it would be Anakin Skywalker.  Mommy issues, daddy issues, inferiority complexes, obsessive behavior, night terrors, megalomania, depression, mental trauma, and so on.  All gravy for Dr. Lecter.  Anakin has also proven to be easily duped by the kinder older gentlemen hiding a dark secret.  They don't get much darker than Hannibal.  Not even Palpatine dined on his enemies.  

THE JOKER (2) WINNER

KHAN NOONIEN SINGH (3)

A man out for revenge is a scary thing.  A man out for chaos is even more frightening.  Khan's relentless linear thinking eventually makes him predictable.  There is no telling what depths or what ends The Joker would go to.  The Joker's intellect is also very comparable to Khan's.  The difference is Khan isn't certifiably insane.  A genius level intellect in the hands of a mad man is the personification of chaos.  

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Round Two Results: FILM GOOD

JAMES BOND (1) WINNER

BATMAN (8)

A superhero versus a super spy   In this gladiatorial matchup it comes down to one thing.  One rule.  A rule that Batman won't break but one that Bond breaks five times before he finishes his morning martini.  A license to kill separates Bond from Bruce...just barely.

SARAH CONNER (10) WINNER

INDIANA JONES (2)

There is no fate but what we make.  Well, it seems Sarah Conner's fate may be to win this tournament.  She pulls a major upset of our favorite fedora wearing archeologist.  Man, seems Indy can't catch a break since Crystal Skull.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK (6)

JOHN McCLANE (3) WINNER 

I wish Seth Green and the people over at Robot Chicken would do a bit where McClane sneaks aboard The Enterprise and takes out members of the crew one by one.  You'd of course have Kirk as Hans, Spock as Karl, and Bones as Ellis. "Kirk, babe.  Put the phaser down this is radio not television."

HAN SOLO (5)

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW (13) WINNER

Jack's victory over Han, a character he is basically based off of by the way, singularly personifies what Disney did to the Star Wars franchise.  An out of the blue attack and take over.  If you only knew the power of the mouse side.  

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Round One Results: FILM GOOD

JAMES BOND (1) WINNER

TOXIC AVENGER (16)

One is a mutated, tutu-wearing, former gym janitor, the other is a secret agent that probably has had sex with a lot of girls who wear a tutu for a living.  New Jersey's own, Toxic Avenger, may have the moves with the mop, but it all comes down to James Bond's Golden Gun, and he wasn't firing blanks this time.  Bond delivers "From Russia, With Love" a victory for jolly ole' England.

INDIANA JONES (2) WINNER

TONY STARK (15) 

Tony may be a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.  However, Indy is an archeologist, professor, pilot, equestrian adventurer, WWII secret agent, playboy, oh...and survived the Ark Of The Convenant and drank water from THE HOLY F%*KING GRAIL.  Even Stark would have to give it up for that one.

JOHN McCLANE (3) WINNER

FOXY BROWN (14)

John McClane has always had tough luck with women.  He either divorces them or kills them.  This one he kills.

ELLEN RIPLEY (4)

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW (13) WINNER

This goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway; Jack Sparrow knows how to charm a lady.  Even if that lady has faced Xenomorphs, androids, and criminal rapists in an intergalactic penal colony.  Savvy?  Ellen Ripley appears so.  However, before she can unload her pulse cannon, the crafty captain boards her ship, shivers her timbers, and hoists his main sail (innuendo).  I'm sure Ripley would welcome a facehugger after a night with Captain Jack Sparrow, who upsets one of the heavy hitters in this bracket.

HAN SOLO (5) WINNER

HIT-GIRL (12)

Han shot first...nuff said. 

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK (6) WINNER

BEATRIX KIDDO (11)

Beatrix Kiddo may be a world class assassin , but she has always been a sucker for charismatic older men.  And they don't get any more charismatic than James T. Kirk.  Suffice to say Kirk gives The Bride the night of her life before setting his phaser to kill.

MAXIMUS DECIMUS MERIDIUS (7)

SARAH CONNOR (10) WINNER

It was that time of the month...You know what I mean guys...you know.

BATMAN (8) WINNER

JASON BOURNE (9)

Batman has dealt with his share of criminals, killers, and psychotics.  But I can't say he's dealt with an ex-CIA agent with a bad case of amnesia, a chip on his shoulder, and the ability to kill someone with a pencil or a book.  The Dark Knight had to pull out all of the tricks from his utility belt to deal with Jason Bourne, who got in a few early shots.  However, he was ultimately dealt a mortal wound courtesy of a Batarang.  He might not be Deadshot, but Bourne was merely a shot away from dispatching Gotham's protector in this hotly contested battle.

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Oz The Great And Powerful

PROPER

Little self involvement time.  I haven't written a review in a while mainly because I've been busy preparing content for our monthly podcast here at Simplistic Reviews. (SELF PROMOTION DURING SELF PROMOTION...SO AWESOME)  Anyway, when the days between reviews started piling up, I became cautious picking the PROPER comeback movie to review next.  (I was this close to reviewing Parker there for a minute, so count your blessings.)  This week, however, I happened to go against my previous judgement and against many preconceived assumptions by the masses and watch a film that made me anxious to talk about.  The film is Oz The Great And Powerful.  A movie that I have heard maligned even before it came out.   A movie that certainly does not deserve it.

Oz The Great And Powerful is a....DUN DUN DUUUUN!!!...prequel to the 1939 cinematic classic The Wizard Of Oz.  And for those who have been hiding under a rock in a cave in Timbuktu, The Wizard of Oz is about a Kansas girl named Dorothy who is whisked away by a tornado and sent to a magical world where wicked witches are the norm, munchkins are a plenty, and lions are cowardly.  Dorothy journeys to find a supposed wizard who can send her back home.  That wizard...74 YEAR SPOILER ALERT...turns out to be just a man behind a curtain named Oz.  Oz The Great And Powerful fills in all the blanks on how he got there and why certain witchly characters got their wickedness.

Now maybe because I've had to rewatch Star Wars episodes 1 through 3 for my 9 to 5 job, I'm standing on a hyperbole soapbox here.  However, I don't regret saying that Oz The Great And Powerful is one of the greatest....DUN DUN DUUUUN!!!....prequels ever made.  My favorite, by the way is The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly.  When the familiar pieces of The Wizard Of Oz began to neatly fall into place in Oz The Great And Powerful, I got the same feeling I had when Blondie picks up that iconic poncho.  The same feeling I didn't get when Lucas clumsily dropped his pieces on the ground, brushed off and forced onto me at the last minute.  The Good The Bad And The Ugly sets up a world that, frankly, is pretty easy to set up.  The Wizard Of Oz is anything but.  It has enough oddly shaped moving parts to make an Ikea salesman blush. (Rimshot.  Nailed it.)  One day I'll have a discussion about how the land of Oz is just an imaginary place where one subconsciously goes to work out their inner issues.  A theme this film duplicates and also nails by the way.  However, for the sake of avoiding an even bigger monicker as an overly-analytical, auteur theory douche, I'll stick with the simple things that make this film work.

I was very surprised that Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland disappointed me.  I thought that his famously quirky style would be perfect for the material.  It is why I was worried that director Sam Raimi might stumble into the same pitfalls with Oz The Great And Powerful.  Alice In Wonderland and The Wizard Of Oz are two worlds that are terrific at hiding morose, gruesome, and inappropriate subtext under colorful, shiny, childish window dressing.  Burton brought more of the morose subtext to the light, thus dragging down Alice In Wonderland away from what it was intended.  Whereas, Raimi keeps the balance and tone of his film's predecessor.  I believe Raimi knew it was suicide to mess with a formula as delicate as The Wizard Of Oz.  Burton made subtext the focal point when he should have remembered it is the wonder the makes the world.  Raimi thrives here and never takes his eye off the ball.

Despite being an actor I very well should hate, I can't help but like James Franco.  Perhaps it is his 'in on the joke' personality and the fact he never takes himself too seriously that disarms me.  His talent, when he's trying, is undeniable.  This isn't Franco's finest work but I believe he's perfectly cast as Oz.  Oz is a failed showman.  A man with the potential for great things, but seems to never be 100% genuine.  A man you want to expose as a fraud not laud as a talent.  Franco seems to fit the bill.  Since Spider-Man Raimi has seemed to know how to use Franco's more unpopular tendencies.  His mugging for the camera never feels out of place in a Raimi film.  And his tender moments, ones that would be cheesy in any other film, seem right at home here.  Rachel Weisz and Michelle Williams stand tall, where other actors would sleepwalk.  That includes Weisz's great nod to, coincidentally Return Of The Jedi, and having a sorcery battle with Williams that rivals even that of Gandalf and Saruman.  But the stand out here is Mila Kunis.  She has been proving since That 70s Show that shes not just a pretty...pretty...pretty...damn she's pretty...face.  It is probably known to all her role in the film.  However, I won't spoil it other than to say she completely humanized and made me empathize with a character I thought would be impossible to.  

Oz The Great And Powerful isn't the greatest film you'll see this year by a longshot.  But it knows what it wants to be, it knows what it has to be, and accomplishes these things nearly perfectly.  Don't believe me?  Close your eyes and imagine for a moment what you deem a PROPER...DUN DUN DUUUUN!!!...prequel to one of the most classic, iconic, and 'out there' films in almost the last hundred years.  Click your heals three times, open your eyes, watch Oz The Great And Powerful...then tell me I'm wrong. 

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast Late Edition: February 2013

Like the old cliche; "better late than never" The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back, and we're just as cliched as we were back in January.

In this February edition we wax poetic on the failings of non-Marvel Studios films, pass judgement on Bruce Willis' latest John McClane adventure, "A Good Day To Die Hard," and rip Seth MacFarlane a new one.

Plus, this time Matt is in the hot seat with another edition of "Word Association."  From Harrison Ford to breast milk, nothing is off limits to Matt's rage, while Justin and DJ have their feelings hurt by our cybernetic robo-babe, Julie.

All this and much more in our "late" February podcast, right here on Simplistic Reviews.

Click on the link below to download the podcast and enjoy folks!

Show Notes

Boycotting Non-Marvel Comic Films
A "Good" Day to "Die Hard"
Why Seth MacFarlane Sucks

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

Click HERE to listen to podcast

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: January 2013

Our first podcast of the year, and we'd like to thank all the fans and readers for making 2012 a success for us.  Right out of the gates we discuss how J.J. Abrams will balance his responsibilities between "Star Trek" and "Star Wars."  We judge the HBO original series "Girls" in our newest segment, "Open & Shut" where we channel our inner Jack McCoy and Atticus Finch.  And we debate what is the Biggest Bad-ass 80s Action Film in "Simply the Best."

All of this, and much more, including a beer can with no manners, Bill Murray getting hand jobs, and our longing for Saturday Morning Cartoons.


Click on the link below to download the podcast and enjoy folks!

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

Show Notes:

Matt's take on Girls
The Force is strong with Abrams
Great courtroom scenes
The best of 80s Action


 Click HERE to listen to podcast

Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest

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Happy Holidays: Word Association 2nd Edition

In this excerpt from the inaugural episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Justin Polizzi volunteers to play Word Association.  Find out how he does.

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Simplistic Reviews Presents: Two Kinds Of People (Episode 9)

The world isn't complicated.  Its simple.  So simple, that everyone in it can be broken down into to kinds of people.  See which one you are.

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Impressive. Most Impressive

IMPRESSIVE

Disney is the illuminati.  I'm convinced.  But before I cower in fear at the thought of a rodent ruling the world, I will sit back in relish the mere possibilities Disney's acquisition of Lucasfilms present.  Disney owns Pixar.  Fine.  Disney owns ABC & ESPN.  Fine.  Disney Owns The Muppets.  Um...okay.  Disney owns Marvel.  Whoa.  Disney owns Star Wars.  Hold up!  Disney owns Indiana Jones.  Wait...what?!?  Disney owns ILM.  Oh, come on!  Disney owns the naming rights to Android phones.  You're sh*tting me.

So essentially you can wake up one morning, purchase tickets on your Mickey Mouse phone (Literally) for a Pixar film that has Captain America beating up Nazis with Indiana Jones and 67 years later joining  Iron Man and the Avengers as the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier is sucked into a wormhole that leads to an encounter with a green, big eared Jedi master in the Dagobah System, then come home and watch SportsCenter hosted by Stuart Scott and Kermit The F*cking Frog!  I think my film brain just orgasmed.  That is the world we are living in now.  And its a great world....That is until Disney begins plans for construction of a fully functioning and operational Death Star in Orlando.  Close your eyes...think about it...then try...just f*cking try..to tell me I'm wrong.

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Fanboys

Fanboys – Unexpected

Let’s face it; the three prequel “Star Wars” movies were disasters.  Films that pandered to 11 and 12 year old kids that lacked heart, and acting for that matter, so it might behoove you to believe that a group of friends would actually go cross-country in order to steal a print of “The Phantom Menace” and risk everything for a friend’s dying wish.  Well, it happened in “Fanboys” and to be honest with you, I enjoyed 

almost every minute of it.

“Fanboys” is one of those interesting movies that was filmed well before it was actually released in theaters (all 12 of them), and featured a lot talent (Seth Rogan, Kristen Bell, Danny McBride) before they really got big.  The film is fluff, but it’s the type of fluff that makes you feel good inside and the characters are fun enough that that you actually enjoy the adventure that they are taking you on.

It’s not a perfect movie, but if you enjoy adolescent hijinks in the vein of “Adventures in Babysitting” or “The Goonies” then “Fanboys” will be right up your geek alley.  Also, if you’d like to keep the good times rolling, check out ‘Ready, Player One” the first novel by “Fanboys” screenwriter, Ernest Cline, it’s one of the best things written in the past five years.

Fun Fact:  Kevin Smith was supposed to cameo as Harry Knowles of “Ain’t It Cool News” but had to bow out at the last minute.

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