The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Final Four Results: BAD

HANNIBAL LECTER (1) WINNER

BEN LINUS (2)

Ben Linus seems to always hide his motives through politeness.  Something that could keep Doctor Lecter at bay for a while.  However, Ben's massive inferiority complex is a glaring weakness that Hannibal could exploit and turn on him.

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Final Four Results: GOOD

JAMES BOND (1) WINNER

BUFFY SUMMERS (2)

There has been a litany of butt kicking babes Bond has had to befall.  Buffy's name can now be added to the list.  Right in between Xenia Onatopp and May Day.  May Day.   James Bond slept with Grace Jones.  Fact. (SHIVER)

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Elite 8 Results: FILM BAD

HANNIBAL LECTER (1) WINNER

THE JOKER (2)

Two master manipulators, but there can only be one winner.  Bottom line; The Joker is just a mad dog off the leash.  Hannibal knows how to train any canine no matter how deranged or psychotic.  The good doctor sets the table, opens a bottle of Chateau d'Yquem, proceeds to filet the Clown Prince of Crime with a linoleum knife, and feeds the rest to his pooches.  It's going to take a lot of explaining on how he got THESE scars.

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Elite 8 Results: FILM GOOD

JAMES BOND (1) WINNER

JOHN McCLANE (3)

Let's do this one by the numbers;
1.  They both use guns.
2.  They both hate women.
3.  They both try to uphold justice, in their own way of course.

What sets these two apart is that one wears a tuxedo while the other a bloody, dirty, smell tank-top.  While I applaud John's taste in fashion, there are two things that are forever; Diamonds, and stylish, black tuxedos.  There are rules for police men, but as for Bond, the only rule resides in the bullets he puts through McClane's chest.  Happy Trails John.....

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Elite 8 Results: TV BAD

BEN LINUS (2) WINNER

CERSEI LANNISTER (8)

Every Cinderella story must come to an end; especially for a woman who has sex with her brother, makes said brother throw a young boy out of a tower, lie about it, have more sex with other family members, and oh yeah, be a total bi*ch!  Ben Linus shows why he is the master manipulator once again and sends Cersei all the way back to Lannisport in a pine box.  This Lannister just couldn't pay off her debts.

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Elite 8 Results: TV GOOD

JACK BAUER (1)

BUFFY SUMMERS (2) WINNER

In one corner; the protector of black presidents, Chinese torture survivor, and a guy that shoots Robocop's wife to obtain information that might save the U.S. from a nuclear attack.  In the other corner; slayer of vampires, demons, aliens, and other evil entities that look to take over the world, while doing all of this before cheerleading practice.  In the battle between two of TV's most bad-ass heroes, it came down to a razor-thin margin.  Ms. Summers was able to drive the final stake through Jack Bauer's heart to bring home the TV Hero Championship to Sunnydale.  Just one too many bad days for old Jack.

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Sweet 16 Results: FILM BAD

HANNIBAL LECTER (1) WINNER

DARTH VADER (4)

If there was any Star Wars character in need of psychotherapy it would be Anakin Skywalker.  Mommy issues, daddy issues, inferiority complexes, obsessive behavior, night terrors, megalomania, depression, mental trauma, and so on.  All gravy for Dr. Lecter.  Anakin has also proven to be easily duped by the kinder older gentlemen hiding a dark secret.  They don't get much darker than Hannibal.  Not even Palpatine dined on his enemies.  

THE JOKER (2) WINNER

KHAN NOONIEN SINGH (3)

A man out for revenge is a scary thing.  A man out for chaos is even more frightening.  Khan's relentless linear thinking eventually makes him predictable.  There is no telling what depths or what ends The Joker would go to.  The Joker's intellect is also very comparable to Khan's.  The difference is Khan isn't certifiably insane.  A genius level intellect in the hands of a mad man is the personification of chaos.  

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Sweet 16 Results: TV BAD

BOYD CROWDER (5) 

CERSEI LANNISTER  (8) WINNER

The one thing you have to admire about Cersei is her survival instincts.  She seems to always get her way.  She can get more done with a goblet in her hand than Boyd could with a gun.  Even in defeat, Boyd could still probably respect that.

BEN LINUS (2) WINNER

TRINITY KILLER (6)

Ben Linus may not have the flare for the dramatic like T.K., but he always gets the job done.  He is relentless and getting his way and sometimes without even getting his hands dirty.

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Sweet 16 Results: FILM GOOD

JAMES BOND (1) WINNER

JACK SPARROW (13)

As Jack's Disney female family member could attest, every Cinderella story must come to an end.  The battle of the Brits comes down to the battle of the wits. And Commander Bond has more than enough to spare to out duel ol' Jackie.  James puts Sparrow to rest...in Dead Man's Chest.

JOHN McCLANE (3) WINNER

SARAH CONNER (10)

Sarah Conner is a warrior through circumstance.  You go ahead and have a cybernetic organism from the future come back to kill you and see if you wouldn't join the NRA.  But at the end of the day she wasn't really a successful warrior.  She may have attempted a daring escape from the funny house, but she was eventually captured.  She may have tracked down and shot Dr. Dyson but she couldn't kill him.  She may have blasted a few holes in Robert Patrick but Arnold still had to save her.  McClane's record versus bad guys waaay out of his league is astounding.  And I won't even go into his compunction for killing.  Besides, if there is anyone harder to kill than a T-1000 it would be John McClane.  Its not called Die Easy folks.  

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Sweet 16 Results: TV GOOD

JACK BAUER (1) WINNER

XENA (5)

You know, even against a demi-god I don't find it hard to believe Jack Bauer would find a way to win.  His bloodlust is probably on par if not more so than the warrior princess.  The same with his rage.  The more I think about it, are we certain Jack isn't the God of war?

BUFFY SUMMERS (2) WINNER

RAYLAN GIVENS (3)

Raylan's southern charm and steely stare is ineffective against The Slayer.  Mainly because of Raylan's weakness for hot blondes.  His ex-wife Winona, His ex-girlfriend Ava, that con artist bartender, and now Buffy.  All those girls have gotten the best of Raylan in one way or another.  However, Buffy is the only one badass enough to jam a wooden stake through the side of that Stetson.  

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Round Two Results: FILM BAD

HANNIBAL LECTER (1) WINNER

ALEX FORREST (8)

Being rude to Dr. Lecter is essentially like poking the proverbial bear.  And nothing is ruder than an obsessed woman who won't be ignored.  Alex can cook all the bunnies she wants.  It doesn't stop Hannibal from making a special stew of his own...out of her.

THE JOKER (2) WINNER

ANNIE WILKES (7)

As Batman said, a crazy person like Annie Wilkes is the type of person The Joker attracts.  However, does Annie really want to be stuck in a cabin in the dead of winter with the clown prince of crime?  I don't think so.  Go ahead, break his ankles.  The Joker would literally laugh it off.  Wilkes has nothing to threaten Mr. J with and is slowly driven even more mad.  Misery?  Poor choice of words.

KHAN NOONIEN SINGH (3) WINNER

COMMODUS (6)

Khan's superior intellect is too much for the patricidal prince to handle.  Death smiles at us all Commodus.  Just be thankful Khan didn't want to use any Centaurian slugs to drive home the point.  

DARTH VADER (4) WINNER

JOHN DOE (12) 

Vader finds John Doe's lack of faith disturbing.   Doe asks for wrath and Vader grants him his wish and then some.  Jar-Jar's head in a box, ironically, was something filmgoers were begging for during the prequels.

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Round Two Results: FILM GOOD

JAMES BOND (1) WINNER

BATMAN (8)

A superhero versus a super spy   In this gladiatorial matchup it comes down to one thing.  One rule.  A rule that Batman won't break but one that Bond breaks five times before he finishes his morning martini.  A license to kill separates Bond from Bruce...just barely.

SARAH CONNER (10) WINNER

INDIANA JONES (2)

There is no fate but what we make.  Well, it seems Sarah Conner's fate may be to win this tournament.  She pulls a major upset of our favorite fedora wearing archeologist.  Man, seems Indy can't catch a break since Crystal Skull.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK (6)

JOHN McCLANE (3) WINNER 

I wish Seth Green and the people over at Robot Chicken would do a bit where McClane sneaks aboard The Enterprise and takes out members of the crew one by one.  You'd of course have Kirk as Hans, Spock as Karl, and Bones as Ellis. "Kirk, babe.  Put the phaser down this is radio not television."

HAN SOLO (5)

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW (13) WINNER

Jack's victory over Han, a character he is basically based off of by the way, singularly personifies what Disney did to the Star Wars franchise.  An out of the blue attack and take over.  If you only knew the power of the mouse side.  

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The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Round Two Results: TV BAD

JOFFREY BARATHEON (1) 

CERSEI LANNISTER (8) WINNER

The only lady that could open hand slap the king and get away with it was Cersei Lannister.  Killing him isn't that far a step.  And seeing as she already has one king on her kill resume, it would be easy for her to kill another.   Sadly, its less depraved killing Joffrey than explaining the circumstances of how he was conceived.  (SHIVER)

BEN LINUS (2) WINNER

ANGELUS (7)

People underestimate Ben Linus at their own peril.  He's stared into the eyes of the smoke monster and lived.  A vampire is small potatoes to this master manipulator.  

RUSSELL EDGINGTON (3) 

TRINITY KILLER (6) WINNER

Much props for Edgington reminding us how an ACTUAL vampire is supposed to act. (I'M LOOKING AT YOU TWILIGHT).  However, serial killers, unlike vampires, can hide in plain sight.  No one sees them coming.

BOYD CROWDER (5) WINNER

NINA MYERS (4)

In the battle of smooth talking snakes in the grass, Boyd Crowder wins hands down.  He's a man that uses twenty words when three will do.  Sometimes to confuse you.  Sometimes to buy himself time to outwit you.  But always to win.  There isn't a con you can lay on him that he hasn't seen, done himself or done better.  

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