The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 36) January 2015

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

It's a brand new year and a brand new episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  This month the boys are not just joined by a Vern...they are joined by The Vern from The As You Watch Podcast and The Vern's Video Video Vortex.  They pop his Simplistic cherry with a good ol' game of Kill, F&%k, Marry.  And like all guests, the boys decide to go Inside The Podcaster with The Vern-man...yes...it's as gross as it sounds.  Also...Julie and Vern admit their feeling for each other.  All this and more on this January 2015 edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast

Show Notes
Bill Cosby
Deadpool Dead
No Bourne Crossover
Wolverine Dead
Quicksilver & Scarlet Witch No Longer Mutants
Fantastic Four Josh Trank Set Report
Batman v Superman Split

Music Notes
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme
G.I. Joe Theme
Thundercats Theme
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Inside The Actors Studio Theme Angelo Badalamenti




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Simplistic TV: Agent Carter Premiere Episode

SPIRIT

Maybe it's because I'm an unapologetic Marvel "fanboy".  Maybe it's because strong female heroines like Ellen Ripley, Beatrix Kiddo, and Sarah Connor have always been more interesting to me than their stereotypical square-jawed Dudley Do-Right male counterparts.  Maybe it's because several other shows in the same genre, including its parent company predecessor, underwhelmed out the gate.  Maybe it's because my male physiology reacts to seeing the flawless Hayley Atwell by raising my endorphin levels to a staggering amount.  Hell, it may be all of those reasons combined which resulted in my enjoyment of the premiere for Agent Carter. 

Agent Carter, a spin-off of Marvel's best One-Shot short film of the same name and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., takes place about a year after the events of Captain America: The First Avenger and follows that film's standout character, Agent Peggy Carter.  Carter, a war hero of the highest order, is now forced to find her way and try to do her job as a spy while stuck in a chauvinistic, male driven world keen to keep her serving coffee and answering phones.  So yeah, it's like Mad Men meets Alias.  Truthfully, the series gives Marvel a real opportunity to flesh out the Peggy Carter character.  Thus, bringing more understanding as to why Cap' still pines for her and why she would be the one chosen as the first Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.  Carter has got the no nonsense determination of a Nick Fury and the beautiful but deadly charm of Black Widow.

"Love The Hat."

In defense of Agent Carter's less enjoyable programming peers, shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Constantine, and even (gulp) Gotham have story arcs meant to be spread across the normal 20 to 26 episode season structure.  Agent Carter is meant to be a strong, short arching, cinematic punch of 8 episodes; much like a standard UK television series.  (Which is why UK television is of a higher quality than American television in my opinion.  Although, that's a conversation for another day)  However, it is clear from at least the first two episodes that showrunners Tara Butters and Michele Fazekas are confident in what they are doing, know what their show needs to accomplish, and know how to SMOOTHLY insert elements of its comic book and MCU source material in a way that enhances the experience instead of hindering it.  (Ahem!  Gotham.  Ahem!)  And really, it's just plain fun.  The 40s era SPIRIT and charm has always been a great vessel for any absurd or unbelievable concepts the show wants to try.  (See: Indiana Jones)  And don't worry about punches being pulled either.  Agent Carter may not be Boardwalk Empire in terms of graphic violence, but it is not from a lack of trying.  There is death and brutality in this female led, 40s era, 8 o'clock, comic book show, owned by Disney that may surprise you. 

Hayley Atwell seems to be born to play this role.  You can see why Marvel had the confidence to give her a big showcase show like this that she has to practically carry alone.  She not only nails every countering line to the volley of sexist insults hurled her way, she seems to have the ability to share an instant chemistry with whichever actor they put across from her.  She fortunately gets to separate herself from Scarlett Johansson and Ming-Na because they both play very guarded characters.  Peggy Carter is guarded in a different way in my opinion.  While Melinda May and Black Widow use lies to protect themselves, Carter, armed with truth, almost dares anyone wanting to crack her shell to step up try.  Her confidence as a character and Atwell's portrayal of that confidence is perfect.

Dominic Cooper, although having a minor role, is still great as Howard Stark.  He does not take the easy way out by doing a Robert Downey Jr. impersonation.  He leans more toward the Howard Hughes/Citizen Kane type of billionaire-genius-playboy-philanthropist.  My one tiny gripe would be the Edwin Jarvis character, played by James D'Arcy.  D'Arcy is a great choice for the role and plays Jarvis well, but I hope the writers turn up his snark a bit more.  I realize I am contaminated by Paul Bettany's brilliant A.I. version, and I know they are utilizing the role reversal of Peggy being tough and Jarvis being foppish.  I just want the banter between the two of them to be a little more biting, much like it is with Downey Jr. and Bettany.  It is there between the two...but I'm greedy for more. 

The rest of the supporting cast is fine in their roles, more or less not getting in the way of the story.  I say that hoping the Lyndsy Fonseca waitress character Angie either amounts to something much bigger or falls a little more to the wayside.  Shea Whigham's character Roger Dooley is a preferable boss to Peggy Carter than Bradley Whitford's Agent Flynn from the Marvel One-Shot.  Dooley seems to fit better in the era than Whitford's Agent Flynn did.  Now, that may just be because I'm used to seeing Whigham on Boardwalk Empire.  However, I like to think it's his gruff and unapologetic use of chauvinism as apposed to Flynn's snarky approach.  Whigham is clueless to Carter's activities, but I don't see him as a cliched idiot. 

While staying up to see a humdrum Ant-Man trailer, I managed to find something even better cooking right under my nose.  Agent Carter is a show that hits the ground running with a quality to it that might catch you off guard.  It is a welcome addition to the Marvel universe and seems to bring hope that Marvel shows to follow will also learn from its predecessors mistakes.  Scan yourself for vita-rays...have someone tie you to a chair...turn on some Benny Goodman...oh and tip generously...watch it...then tell me I'm wrong.

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Slaughter Film Presents: Action Movie Time Machine - Fantastic Four (1994)

Half Hearted

Our journey thru Marvel’s superhero flops of yester-year is nearly over. I’ve saved the best for last. Or, the worst for last. The most notorious comic based movie to ever be made -- the Roger Corman produced “Fantastic Four” film from 1994. All aboard the “Action Movie Time Machine” as we will be crossing thru the Van Allen Belt with our final destination being the Marvel Universe.

The year is 1994. A wonderful thing came in the form of a bra. Jackie O., Kurt Cobain, Nicole Brown and Mufasa all passed away. And Sony released the Playstation.

THE SKINNY

The film begins with Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom. College students who are working together to build a device…that does, something. With it they are going to be able to…do something… Anyhow, this is only important because “Colossus”, an interstellar anomaly, is passing through the Earth’s Van Allen Belt. As the two men get ready to use their device in time with the arrival of the Colossus, the machine receives a surge of space energy that directly blasts Von Doom, killing him. Or so we think.

By the way, the Van Allen Belt is a layer of charged particles that is held in place around a planet by it’s magnetic field. Ya know that force you feel when you put two repelling magnets together? Well imagine teeny-tiny, nearly invisible particles trapped in that force. If I’m not mistaken, the Aurora Borealis is when some of these particles make their way through the belt and into the Earth’s atmosphere, generating a light show. But how would I know?

Now, ten years later, Reed Richards has become a top notch physicist who is recruiting a group to accompany him on a space launch. The craft, he designed and built himself, but he needs the help of Ben Grimm to pilot the craft, and Sue & Johnny Storm.

The mission is to observe and record information on the Colossus, which is making a return visit. To protect themselves from the same energy blasts that took the life of Doom, Richards has found a way to use a very rare diamond to absorb and deflect the energy. This is some high-tech stuff huh? The problem with that is that a jewel thief, known as the Jeweler, stole it in the night and replaced it with a fake.

Once in space, the four are bombarded with cosmic energy and are blown back to the Earth’s surface. The four have become fantastic. Reed can stretch like a rubber band, Sue can turn invisible, Johnny can wield flame and Ben has slowly turned into a rock monster.

As the Fantastic Four try to understand what has happened, a metal masked madman known as Dr. Doom begins to scheme. He sends his henchmen out to retrieve Reed and the group, disguised as U.S. military. He then has a crack scientist run tests on the four in an attempt to discover the key to their transformation. Once this secret is known, Doom will have the same done to himself and he will become all powerful. Once the fantastic four realize what is happening, they use their newly found powers to escape Doom’s facility.

Doom now moves on to another part of his plan. He pays the Jeweler a little visit and retrieves the stolen diamond that he will use to power a laser called “Cyclops“. Another reference to X-Men. Once operational, Doom will use the laser to level New York. Then he’ll exact his revenge against Reed and his friends. Revenge? Doom feels they are the ones to blame for his accident at the beginning of the film. Why? Who knows. Who cares. But in doing so, Doom will steal the powers of the Fantastic Four.

As a side note, I just have to share a real gem from Doom. He arrives in the Jeweler’s lair and demands the diamond. The Jeweler points a gun at a young woman’s head, telling Doom that if he touches the diamond, the girl dies. To which Doom replies; “…so.”. LOL The Jeweler doesn’t know who he’s messing with.

 

In classic movie villain style, Doom finds a way to explain his entire plan to the Fantastic Four, as if they wouldn’t try to stop him. Reed and his team fly to Doom’s castle, where Mr. Fantastic, the Invisible Woman and the Thing kick his ass. New York is saved from the laser attack by the Human Torch, who can apparently, fly faster than light. The movie ends with wedding of Sue and Reed. Just like the comic, and just like the 2005 film.

THE VERDICT

As I have during that past few “Retro Super Hero Flicks”, allow me to do some explaining before I share my thoughts.

“The Fantastic Four” was never meant to be good. It wasn’t even meant to be released. Of course the cast didn’t know that. Marvel had sold the rights of the “Fantastic Four” name and characters to a production company. When this happens, that ownership is temporary. If the film isn’t made, the contract expires and the production company loses access to those properties.

This is what was going to happen, and to prevent it from happening Roger Corman was contacted, “The Fantastic Four” film was given the green light and a measly one million dollar budget was allocated. Sounds like a lot, but in movie terms it’s chump change.

With a “FF” film in the can the production company would then have more time to develop the property into something profitable. Something good.

The story, while simple and honest to the comic, can be a bit confusing at times. Dr. Doom is the king of his own country with all kinds of power and resources, but yet he is hell-bent on seeking revenge for the accident that almost killed him. Which wasn’t even the fault of anyone in Reed’s group. Why Dr. Doom? Why are you doing this? If anything, I could make the argument that his accident has made his life better.

The acting is par for the course for such a low budget film, as are the special effects. Goofy and cheap, but not embarrassing to watch.

My main problem with this film is that it sticks too closely to the original comic book. Sure there are differences here and there, like the motivations of Victor Von Doom that lead up to his “death”. But rather, the tone and visuals of the original comic book are too strong. Watching this is like reading the comic from the ‘60s. Being made and set in the early ’90s just isn’t believable with such a strong ‘60s identity.

Just imagine if Warner Brothers took the ‘60s “Batman” television show and re-made it for the ‘90s… Oh wait, that happened. It was called “Batman & Robin”. “The Fantastic Four” is just like “Batman & Robin” but with a fraction of the budget and no one making the film tried to have fun while they were doing it.

Again, this film wasn’t made to be good. Or even to be seen for that matter. It was simply made to be made and nothing more. So I honestly can’t crap on it too hard. It could have been made even less well and that would have been enough to satisfy the studio.

 

It’s an interesting oddity in film history that isn’t for everyone. But I feel that it’s a must see for every comic book fan boy. At least once. It’s tough to find in the wild but has been uploaded several times on Youtube. Check it out. It’s funny to see similarities between this and the 2005 film.

I’m Cory Carr and this concludes another trip on the “Action Movie Time Machine”. Until next time, Semper Fi Punk!

For more from Cory, check out his website slaughterfilm.com, where he and his good friend Forest Taylor record weekly podcasts, reviewing the films that are legendary, even in Hell!

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Under the Skin

Under the Skin - Alien

Sometimes I simply find it difficult to preface a film. So without further ado I'll jump right into it. "Under the Skin" is one of those films that defies preconceptions and to be honest with you, just might be one of those films that will surprise many, if said many are willing to give it a chance and really try to understand an alien concept; a woman who is willing to sleep with a man from Scotland.....(I kid, I kid).

"Skin" is the story of a mysterious woman, played seductively and as sultry as ever by Scarlett Johansson. She drives a van, lures men into said van, and leads them to their doom. She is followed by a duo of mysterious motorcyclists who seem to clean up whatever mess she leaves behind. Things start to spin a little out of control after one of her encounters has her letting loose one of her quarries and going on the run. This is where they say, "the plot thickens."

To go any further would be to do a disservice to the rest of the film, and going cold into "Skin" is one of the best things that you could do for this film. Director Jonathan Glazer, best known for "Sexy Beast" combines the best of art house cinema with trippy effects to create an engrossing, thinking-persons, science fiction weird-fest. What also stands out is the excellent score by Mica Levy, which plays like combination of Radiohead, Aphex Twin, and Wendy Carlos.

What I think has been missing from sci-fi flicks for a while is the notion that a setting needs to actually be alien, or cosmic, in order to make it a real sci-fi film. What I think is the most underrated aspect of "Skin" is the fact that the film takes place in Scotland. Let's be honest, how much do we all really know about that land of Scotland outside of "Highlander" and Sean Connery. The landscapes and dialect almost become a character in and of itself and add a wrinkle to the story you wouldn't expect.

Now the elephant in the room; the performance of Johansson, and I'm not just talking about her acting ability. One of the things that got a lot of attention leading up to the release of this film was the fact that Johannson shed all of her clothes for the role. While it's nothing new for well-known actresses to ditch the clothes and show the goods, it's a tad more newsworthy considering we are talking about an actress known for playing Black Widow in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. However, her disrobing shouldn't take away from her simple, yet effective performance. Most of her acting isn't done through dialogue, but rather her movements and body language, and I might go as far as saying this is her best performance to date.

Another misconception is that "Skin" is simply a "Species" rip-off with stronger feminist undertones. Yes, on paper the fact that you have a mysterious women seeking men out and later dispatching them is pretty "Species"-like, but the comparisons can stop there. "Skin" features a very strong female character whose intentions aren't truly discovered until close to the start of the third act, and even at that point we see that character's intentions shift after a chance encounter with a specific character she picks up and is ready to dispatch. However, while I do enjoy the power that Johansson wields over her quarry, the third act flips the script and changes who may or may not be in control. I know some of this sounds cryptic, and that is the point. My intention is to entice you to watch a film that is certainly worthy of your attention and is an interesting take on male/female relations and interactions.

So, with that being said; should you see "Under the Skin?" See above please, of course you should. It's one of the most original sci-fi films in quite a while, with a daring performance by Scarlett Johansson and some of the most "alien" cinematography of 2014. Sure we've gone to the far-reaches of the Marvel Universe, Earth under the rule of talking Apes, and even traveled back into Biblical-times on an ark, but the way Glazer created a practically alien world out of something that exists on Earth hasn't been done since Peter Jackson created Middle-Earth with the help of New Zealand.

Fun Fact: In 1979, Robert Taylor claimed to have been nearly abducted by aliens in Dechmont Law in Livington, West Lothian, Scotland in what has been called the Dechmont Law Encounter.

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 34): December 2014 Holiday Edition

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

Ho-Ho-Holy Sh%t!   It's December again and the boys at Simplistic Reviews has a show full of holiday cheer.  They've got partridges...pear trees....dreidels...Santa letters/threats...Olaf the snowman from Frozen...black stormtroopers...Kevin Feige: Stand-Up Comedian...megalomaniac Mickey Mouse...holiday movie spoilers...all that and more on the 2014 Holiday Edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Show Notes:
Star Wars Trailer
Suicide Squad Casting
Spectre
Stand-Up Comedian from the 80s Fashion


Music Notes:
Christmas Is All Around Us By Billy Mack
My Flows is Tight By Lord Digga
Christmas Vacation By Mavis Staples
Christmas Time Is Here By The Vince Guaraldi Trio 

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Slaughter Film Presents: Action Movie Time Machine - Captain America

VINTAGE

Now-a-days comic book movies have become the saving grace of the summer blockbuster season. What were once exorcises in a maligned art form are now the most highly anticipated events of the year. So for the next few weeks we're going to take a look at comic book films from back in the day. When they were still paying their dues. When all the answers to every problem wasn't an army of digital effects artists and programmers. All aboard the “Action Movie Time Machine”. It's time to visit the first

The year is 1979. A nuclear power plant known as Three Mile Island, had a near melt-down. Robert Duvall loves the smell of napalm in the morning". Young men and women with radical hairdos mourn the death of punk legend Sid Vicious. All this and Reb Brown throws his shield as “Captain America”.

THE SKINNY

It all begins with Steven Rogers, Reb Brown, who has just returned home for a long stint with the Marines, from which he has been discharged. His plan now is to see America, as he drifts from town to town in his killer '70s pussy-mobile. Complete with seagull “van art”. With his military career behind him, Steve plans to get along by selling his paintings... Not the Captain American you remember from the comics?

This is all fine and well until he receives some distressing news from Jeff, an old friend who asks Steve to meet with him. As Steve makes his way to meet Jeff's home, a group of teamsters attempt to  kill Steve by creating an oil slick on the cliff side road Steve is traveling on. Steve loses control and slides off the edge of the cliff. Miraculously, Steve emerges unscathed and doesn't seem to be alarmed in any way.

This oil slick scene consists of Steve trying to regain control of his van for over thirty seconds. It doesn't sound like much, but believe me, it's classic '70s goofy. Aside from it being goofy, this scene stands out because one talented madman had to operate the van, sliding on the edge of a cliff, as they filmed the scene. Bravo!

Eventually Steve arrives, only to find Jeff murdered. He meets with Simon Wells, a scientist who once worked with Steve's father conducting secret experiments and carrying out highly classified projects for the United States government. Simon suggests that perhaps Jeff's death and the attack on Steve could be connected. Someone must be trying to get their hands on Jeff's data concerning the Neutron Bomb which he has been building. And Steve was attacked because...his father, who is now dead, did...umm...stuff..?

Steve's father was developing a special steroid to boost the average man's strength and endurance. This synthetic steroid is called the “F.L.A.G. Serum”. Simon now wants Steve to follow in his fathers footsteps by taking the FLAG Serum and using his increased strength to help protect the Neutron Bomb.

This is around the time our story develops in two ways;

The first being a terrorist crime boss plot  to build a Neutron Bomb and detonate it in the metropolitan area of Phoenix, Az. The bomb will kill everyone within so many miles, but leave everything else untouched. With everyone dead, his men will be able to walk right in and steal the city blind.

The second is Steve wrestling with the temptation of his newly found freedom and instead taking on the responsibility of becoming a super soldier and fighting off terrorists. What helps Steve make up his mind is several more attacks on his life by hired goons. One of which is almost fatal. Steve's life is saved when Simon injects the FLAG Serum into Steve while he is unconscious. The serum works and Steve recovers almost overnight.

With Steve now on board, Simon has a red, white and blue costume designed to conceal Steve's identity while he's fighting for America. This new outfit comes with a Plexiglas shield, a refurbished van complete with high-tech doo-dads and a patriotically painted motorbike.

With the Neutron Bomb now complete, Steve races to intercept it in transport. Once he does, Simon meets Steve to disarm the bomb before it blows...which he does... The End.

THE VERDICT

Before I share my thought on “Captain America”, I would like to cover a little bit of Marvel movie history.

This is the second time Captain America was portrait in any live-action incarnation. The first being a fifteen part serial starring Dick Purcell, from 1944. It was a poor adaptation of the then Timely Comics character. Purcell played District Attorney Grant Gardner who became Captain America to prevent a mad doctor from acquiring equipment to build super weapons. No super soldier serum equals no Captain America in my opinion.

Now, years later, Marvel had been trying to take the company in other directions. They were chomping at the bit the to have more of their characters adapted into film and television. The only problem was that the technology, at the time, wasn't powerful enough portray some of the more fantastic super human concepts. The various production teams that worked on these projects were also often limited by budget. These shortcomings resulted in either one of two things.

They had to re-imagine certain character elements, simplifying them to help sell the overall production. Or they tried to make do with what they had and failed miserably. The Incredible Hulk television show was a good example of this. Rather than adding ridiculous prosthetic makeup and costume to Bill Bixby's character (David Banner) to make him look like the Hulk, they just painted Lou Ferrigno green. They kept it simple, focused on the characters and it worked.

The same goes for this film. Reb Brown actually plays the son of Captain America. This way Universal Studios didn't have to spend the extra money turning the film into a period piece set in some foreign country so Captain America could punch Hitler in the face. What doesn't work so much is that his shield and costume are completely re-invented. He looks nothing like the Steve Rogers/Captain America from the comic book and comes off pretty goofy. But, after all, it was the '70s. If I'm not upset about Batman's “Tumbler” not looking like the classic Bat-mobile, or that he has shark repellent in his helicopter, or that “Bat-nipples” are a thing, I guess I can't get to excited about a Plexiglas shield and motorcycle helmet.

The REAL problem with “Captain America” is that it is a '70s made for television movie of the week. And with that it has hammy acting, poor edits, mediocre special effects, it lacks a major comic book villain and it drags a bit in the middle. Is it a great film? No. But it is a pretty fun super hero time capsule.

It aired on CBS long before my time, but I could imagine being a child back in '79 – sitting in front of the television, patiently waiting for the movie to start and complaining that the commercials are taking too long. Mmmm, the sweet smell or nostalgia. 

  So in conclusion, “Captain America” isn't for everyone. But for those of you who are comic nerds or if the '70s were your heyday -- you're going to love it.

I’m Cory Carr and this concludes another trip on the “Action Movie Time Machine”. Until next time, Semper Fi Punk!

For more from Cory, check out his website slaughterfilm.com, where he and his good friend Forest Taylor record weekly podcasts, reviewing the films that are legendary, even in Hell!

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Guardians of the Galaxy (Matt's Take)

ANTI

Guardians of the Galaxy - Anti

Usually once a year, there is that one movie that you know is a foregone conclusion. I won't dance around it, it's "Guardians of the Galaxy" this year. But before I get into the meat of this review, a brief story; the night before I was all set to watch "Guardians" the next morning, a sense of dread washed over me. I thought, "what if this movie isn't as good as I thought it would be?" "What if I walk out feeling slighted?" "What if everyone else is walking out happy and I'm walking out disappointed?" I would have to really take a look into my soul and see what was wrong with ME? Alas, that wasn't the case, "Guardians" was wonderful, it was great, it was down-right groovy. For me, "Guardians" is the anti-Marvel movie. It plays by it's own rules, and for the first time in Marvel's Phase Two films I wanted more, got more, and wasn't letdown, and before you attack, I also loved "Captain America 2" but "Guardians" has taken that big step forward that Marvel was lacking; it's expanding the universe to places you wouldn't believe.

"Guardians" tells the tale of Peter Quill, aka, Star-Lord, a space pirate working with Yondu, leader of the Ravangers. While exploring the desolate planet of Morag, Quill stumbles upon a mysterious orb and is attacked by Korath the Pursuer, but escapes. Needless to stay an adventure plays out that features Quill teaming up with a living tree named Groot, a sexy, green, ass-kicking assassin with a past, Gamora, a gun-toting, wise-cracking raccoon called Rocket, and Drax, a tattooed convict with nothing left to lose. Together the "Guardians of the Galaxy" have to save the planet of Xander from Kree extremist, Ronan the Accuser. It's typical comic book storytelling with a rebellious and anti-Marvel bite that we haven't seen since "Iron Man."

Since day one, it just seemed that "Guardians" would succeed, but only with those that were willing to give it a chance, and after it's first weekend $160 Million international haul, plenty were willing to give something new a chance. The cast is one of the best, but one of the oddest that you might ever see. Led by Chris Pratt, who so many know as the former Pawnee City Hall shoe shiner Andy Dwyer in "Parks and Recreation", makes it known he's ready for Hollywood in a "star" making performance, and the cast only gets better. From Zoe Saldana, Michael Rooker, and even Glenn Close, the cast is the perfect mix for a film this eccentric.

While the parts played by humans are great, it's the CG characters that really steal things and create an unexplainable emotional connection with the audience. Who would think that a raccoon and a humanoid tree creature would create some of the most emotional scenes in film this year. It's a testament to direction, which I'll get into shortly, script, and performance. You believe that Rocket, voiced by Bradley Cooper, is real, and his implied tragic back-story brings the feels in a major way, and this leads me to his relationship with Groot, his bodyguard/whipping tree, if you will. At heart, their relationship is simple; Rocket is a raccoon, who lives in a tree. The beauty is in the simplicity. The most human emotions out of the entire film are from the film's two non-human characters.

However, nothing would work in "Guardians" if it wasn't for one person; director James Gunn. From humble beginnings working with Lloyd Kaufman at Troma Studios to his first directing gig on the ultra-underrated throwback creature feature "Slither," and now as Marvel's golden child directing what could be the high-grossing film of the year. It's been quite a road. What Gunn brings to Marvel is a rebel mentality. He's never been a guy to conform, but at the same time he knows how to strike the perfect of pleasing the fans, while still creating something that fits his twisted sensibilities. Plus, he cares about the material. While on the media trail, all Gunn would talk about is how everyone is going to love what he called "the raccoon." Normally, directors will build up their biggest stars and the big action set pieces, but all Gunn went on about is how Rocket is going to steal the show.....a raccoon....was going to steal a nearly $200 million dollar space epic produced by Marvel and Disney in the middle of the Summer movie season? Well, Gunn was right, he....was....right.

So many things could have gone wrong with this film too. One, not many people know about the "Guardians" outside of hardcore comic fans. For the normal reader I'm sure the idea of talking trees and other misfits might be a little "alien." Two, this was a huge gamble for Marvel/Disney. Taking a chance on Gunn as a director and trusting in Pratt as the lead wasn't something on anyone's radar, except for Kevin Feige. Three, creating another comic book team up, but only doing it in two hours as opposed to three movies (I would count "The Incredible Hulk" but for some reason people don't see that as canon now). Comparing "Guardians" to "The Avengers" is natural; their both team-based films fighting a big bad, oh, and they argue a lot. What sets "Guardians" apart however is the heart it has. I'm not saying that Joss Whedon doesn't have heart, hell, he's one of the biggest fanboys working in film today and Marvel wouldn't be where they are without him, but Gunn not only created something out of what could have been considered nothing, and surpassed "Avengers" in my opinion. And yes, "Guardians" has become a huge comic commodity recently but only if you are a true die-hard comic reader could you say with a straight face that you've been a "Guardian" fan from the jump. That, or you're almost 50 years old at the time of this reading.

This might sound sacrilegious, but "Guardians" is better than the "Avengers." Yes, it is. On first viewing I still had "Avengers" in the lead by a little bit, but sitting down the second time, this time with the wife, I felt so much more emotion watching it again. First, I could relax a little more and simply enjoy the film this time and not worry about the overall story. I had the chance to focus on the little things that made the film special. Gunn has a habit of including little tid-bits for fans of his older films, including the always entertaining cameo by his mentor Kaufman. The other thing was watching this with my wife. At heart, we're both nerds; however, we butt heads when it comes to things like Harry Potter vs. Lord of the Rings, but this is one of the films that we were both looking forward to this year. Not only is "Guardians" great fun, but it also brings my wife and I closer together. We cried in the same parts, we cheered when our heroes finally came out victorious, and most importantly when we walked out of the film we both looked at each other said, "let's see that again!" That's a win in my book, and something I'm sure a lot of people are doing around the world.

Finally, and this is for the cynics. I understand your stance on comic films. They are campy, fairly vapid, and maybe worst of all, don't add much to the film landscape in terms of increasing awareness of women's rights, the plight of those overseas, or contain some sort of message that is supposed to make us better people. Well, maybe it does, at least with the last point. When a person walks out of a film and wants to see it again, or that little kid falls in love with a gun-toting raccoon, maybe that's their way of changing the world. It's making it a better place to live when we can all be together in a darkened theater and enjoy what is happening on the screen and feel like we are one community sharing a goal; to have fun. Look, I enjoy art-house film as much as the next person, but in a world that is this shitty, and hard to live in, why not have some fun with a wise-cracking rogue, a walking thesaurus covered in tattoos, a genetically engineered killer looking for redemption, a tree that gives flowers to little girls, and of course the raccoon. "Guardians of the Galaxy" is everything it was meant to be; a fun, balls-to-the-wall space adventure that gives cynics the finger and allows someone who I consider the "anti-Michael Bay" to show the world what he can do on the grandest of all stages, and its worthy of your love, admiration, and at times, tears.

Fun Fact: After you put the kids to bed, make sure you check out James Gunn's "PG Porn." It's arousing.

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Guardians Of The Galaxy (DJ's Take)

REWARDING

The road to Guardians Of The Galaxy has a been a strange one if you think about it.  When Marvel's cinematic universe potentate Kevin Feige announced at 2012's San Diego Comic-Con that the next big film coming down the pipeline was going to be Guardians, many were floored.  It was supposed to be a victory lap for Marvel after The Avengers changed the comic book movie genre forever...but they decided to come out with Guardians Of The Galaxy next?

Most didn't even know who the hell the Guardians Of The Galaxy were.  I, being a comic book reader since I was seven, knew who they were and still was confused.  The balls on Marvel.  The balls indeed.  This WAS their victory lap.  The Avengers success allowed them to take a chance on a property that no one knew, and have it fly under the radar pressure free.  And it did.  Until that trailer came out.  A trailer that played up the film's unfamiliarity with audience for a laugh.  A trailer that showed us why Feige was so confident in the property to begin with.  Guardians Of The Galaxy looked like it was going to capitalize greatly on one of the strengths of Marvel.  That strength being their films are fun.  It also looked as though Guardians was going to take advantage of the growing desire for a lighthearted sci-fi space adventure before even their Disney brother Star Wars Episode VII could.  I mean look at this poster

If Only Serenity Came Out Now

Trailer after trailer came out, each looking better than the last.  Excitement grew.  Critics fawned.  DC pouted.  Then about two weeks before release...rumblings of worry began about Guardians Of The Galaxy possibly not living up to the hype.  A film about characters no one knew four years ago was now being thought of as too good to be true.  The whole thing reminds me of another risky venture that Marvel took back in 2008.  And we remember how that turned out don't we?

THE TANK = COMIC BOOK FANBOYS' MINDS

Guardians Of The Galaxy is merely another risky venture by Feige and the boys at Marvel.  The verdict?  Not only does it live up to the recent hype you've been hearing, it is possibly the most REWARDING experience you'll have in the theater all year. 

So, what is Guardians about?  It's about a group of emotionally scarred kindred spirits coming together to become a family.  What?  It is.  The kindred spirits just happen to be raccoon, a tree, an earthling, a deadly alien chic, and a crazed warrior.   Sure there is a plot revolving around the retrieval of a mysterious macguffin (A Favorite Trope For Marvel) and various quests for revenge.  However, this is really about the unity of these characters amidst their differences and obstacles.

You may think that I am crapping on the plot of Guardians, but I'm not.  I merely want to bring attention to the real accomplishment of this film.  That accomplishment is the quality of these characters themselves.  Each one of them are so rich and fleshed out, the story almost feels inconsequential.  You'll fall in love with them equally and so deeply that you'd be willing to watch them regardless of their journey.  The Guardians are as uniquely lovable as Han, Luke, Leia, Lando, Chewie, 3PO and R2 or Mal, Zoe, Jayne, Wash, River, Book, Kaylee, Simon, and Inara.  And that is just on paper.  You still gotta cast the thing.  Thankfully Gunn and Feige knocked that out of the park as well.

Matthew McConaughey is an actor that has taken a meteoric rise over the past few years.  However, his McConaugh-sance has smoke screened most from the arrival of Chris Pratt.  This guy has been in projects ranging from Parks and Rec, Moneyball, Zero Dark Thirty, Her, Lego Movie and has crushed his performance each time.  Peter Quill now might very well be Pratt's Han Solo role, while his part in the new Jurassic Park might be his Indiana Jones.  Pratt is that magnetic and the magnetically charming throughline for this entire film.  Quill could soon become a Marvel favorite after audiences get a glimpse of Star-Lord, even with Robert Downey Jr. still walking the earth as Tony Stark.  It is nearly impossible not to fall in love with this character from his very first frame on screen, much like how we did with Downey Jr. in Iron Man.

Zoe Saldana's Gamora is not as entertainingly devilish as Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow.  However, she has the tough task of being the film's straight man or woman as it were.  Saldana is solid in the role and has undeniable chemistry with Pratt.  Whenever she is given a scene to carry, she delivers.  Dave Bautista was the one character that I was worried about.  He essentially plays the Thor role of the team, which could be bad if done poorly.  However, Gunn plays into any stilt and stiffness that Bautista could of have had and uses it as a character trait.  A decision that makes Drax possibly the most humorous characters in the film.  A stroke of genius if you think about.  Bautista's acting, which is still quite good in this, is now nearly immune from criticism.

Diesel and Cooper make icons of their two CGI characters.  Cooper especially lends something to Rocket that I never expected.  He is the fan favorite master of wisecracking, of course.  However, there is a very terrific and subtle thread of emotional trauma that Cooper brings to Rocket.  Just one of the many examples of the detail and time that went into creating these characters.  A feat completed through the writing and directing of James Gunn.

I think Gunn might be Marvel's new golden boy.  I understand why there were rumors of him taking over Avengers after Joss Whedon.  Gunn and Whedon's thematic voices are different, but they seem to approach the material in a similar way.  They both never forget to service their characters first.  They both embrace fun without letting it get too silly.  And they both seem to love the material they are working with.  (Trust me...that is not always a guarantee...ahem...Marc Webb...ahem...Michael Bay)  Gunn brings so much life to this world, I'm amazed the budget was as low as it was. ($170 million)
With the freedom Marvel seemed to have given Gunn with Guardians and the success that I think it will be, I can only imagine what we will be in store for in the sequel.

Guardians Of The Galaxy was a high risk, but ended up becoming a high REWARD.  We should all go out and claim this REWARD, and by doing so, prove that strange and different is not automatically box office poison.  Hop aboard the Milano...grab a prosthetic leg...never call Drax a thesaurus...Watch it...then tell me I'm wrong.  And if you don't...Peter Quill has a message for you.

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