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Saturday, November 2, 2013

Support Independent Film Dammit! (Stuck)



As any young person knows, more than ever, it's hard out there for a pimp.....wait, no......that's not how it goes.  Okay, got it, it's hard out there for a millennial.  While it might not have the same ring and pop as the hit Three 6 Mafia song, it's something that most post-college grads can relate to, unless you're pimp, and if that's the case, please see above comment.

"Stuck" is an indie film going into production in Spring 2014 with filming taking place in the greater Boston, MA-area.  Directed, written, and produced by Angela Palladino, "Stuck" tells the story about a group of millennial "stuck" in their small town after college.  I'm sure there are many of us that can relate to this.  There is nothing worse than leaving the safety of college only to thrust into the real world with little to no direction on what the next step should be.

With an experienced cast and crew, Ms. Palladino is trying to convey the frustrations and worries that all twenty-somethings have in this story that I might call "The Anti-Girls."  Sure, some of us might be able to relate to the antics that Lena Dunham and her friends get into on the hit HBO show "Girls" but "Stuck" shows the angst juxtaposed against the hopes and dreams that we all have, along with the relationships we have with friends and lovers.

Inspired by films such as "Tiny Furniture," "Drinking Buddies," and "Garden State," "Stuck" could very well be the millennial's "Reality Bites" or "Singles."

We at Simplistic Reviews fully support Independent Film and are happy to be working with Ms. Palladino in supporting "Stuck."  There are numerous ways to help this Indie feature, but checking "Stuck's" Indiegogo page is a great way to start.  During the production we will bring you exclusive production details of "Stuck" along with interviews from the director (Angela Palladino), cast, and crew.

Check out the links below to see how you can get "Stuck."

Main (Stuck) Website
(Stuck) on Indiegogo
(Stuck) on IMDB
(Stuck) on Facebook
(Stuck) Trailer

Friday, November 1, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 13


Happy post-Halloween you creeps!  In this 13th episode of Simply Horrifying we have an episode that probably is the most memorable in my opinion.  Being a child of the late 1980s and early 1990s one of my favorite movies has "The Goonies" and this episode, entitled "Undertaking Parlor" has the finger prints of "The Goonies" all over it.

A group of friends stumble upon a town conspiracy to kill it's riches residents and profit off of their funerals.  Starring John Glover as the town mortician and Data from "The Goonies" as Josh, the aspiring film director of the group, can three four friends put a stop to this evil plot or murder for profit.

Click the link above for the full review and don't forget to subscribe, comment, or leave us hate mail, if you dare......

Thursday, October 31, 2013

This is Halloween: The Haunted Mask

The Haunted Mask: Fun

22mins each/44mins Total/Horror/1995

The Haunted Mask is the 11th book and episode 1 and 2 of season 1.


It's about a girl, Carly Beth who gets picked on because she's easily scared. She's the joke of the school and because of that is pushed into buying a mask that will turn her weakness into her ultimate revenge.

This book stands out as of of the more popular stories. I became a big fan when the 2 part episode was released on VHS. As a kid this was one of the films that I would play ever year for Halloween. 

The acting is what you would expect from a 90's children's TV show. The real reason this is a staple of 90's kids is the story. It works almost too good. It's not just about a girl who wants revenge, but the mask Carly picks changes her, it attaches to her and takes her over.




The Mask
The "unobtainable, unloved ones" all look pretty cool. In fact I find that I like some of the others more then the one she picks. But that's not to say the one she picks isn't good, it really is badass looking. The issue is the lighting. They should of made it a bit darker because the mask doesn't work as awesome in the brighter night shoots. But the voice and the darker scenes really make the mask work, especially when she begins to get angry and the mask begins to sweat.

These episodes aren't the scariest of the show. But they're very enjoyable and have a deeper meaning of excepting ones self and not trying to be different for anyone else.


Thanks for reading guys and girls!
Happy Halloween!




The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: October Edition


 The boys are back with another hard-hitting, face-melting, knee-slapping, balls-to-the-wall edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  October draws to a close with Halloween on their minds as they breakdown the best Horror Monsters/Villains/Demons of all-time.

The boys also vent their anger in another round of "Hey F%*khead" and no one is safe.  Everyone from Julliane Hough to Michael Bay are ripped limb from limb for their stupidity and overall douchebaggery.

Add in some TV talk, Casper the Friendly Rapist, and a barn-full of shenanigans and you got a podcast worth downloading and listening to while you're running on the elliptical machine.  Enjoy!

Show Notes:

Julianne Hough in Blackface
Chris Brown Still Beating People
History of Halloween
Scariest Horror Villains


FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

Click HERE to listen to podcast

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This is Halloween: The Shining (1980)

ICONIC
The Shining - Iconic

I hate to be so cliche when it comes to "The Shining" but since I like it not only as a horror film, but as a film in general, it's hard not to call it iconic.  It's the first film in the pseudo-slasher genre that was taken seriously by not only horror fans, but film historians and pundits.  I mean Stanley Kubrick directed it for goodness sake!  One of the most important directors in the past 75 years chose to follow up his epic "Barry Lyndon" with a Stephen King adaptation.

While I'm too young to have gotten the chance to experience this film in the theater during it's initial theatrical run, luckily "The Shining" was being screened during one of Cinemark Classic Series months.  Myself, and two friends, got the chance to experience the way all film should be witnessed; on the big screen.  While I don't fully agree with complete restoration when it comes to old films (I still like to see the cracks and film burns when I'm watching something that was actually shot on film as opposed to digital) the job they did on "The Shining" to clean it up and and preserve it was well done and didn't take away from it being scary or it's overall tone.  Another cool thing that I noticed was the night we watched the film, October 30th, was the same day in which The Overlook Hotel closes for the Winter in the film.  Eerie and awesome.

As a refresher, "The Shining" is based on the 1977 novel by Stephen King about a possessed hotel, The Overlook, and the Torrance family, who become it's latest victims.  I highlight based because when "The Shining" was released it did not receive a seal of approval from King himself, who dismissed it and still holds it as one of his least favorite adaptions of his works, and there are many changes from the book to the film. The film features Jack Nicholson in the starring role as Jack Torrance, and former school teacher with a violent past who struggled with alcoholism.  Looking to get away and start a new writing project, Jack accepts the caretaker's job at the Overlook Hotel deep in the heart of the Rocky Mountains.  With his wife and son in tow, the descent into madness begins.

Straying from King's novel, Kubrick creates an original take that I think works very well.  The film becomes less about the supernatural and more about the breakdown of the psyche when isolated and away from society.  While the film does keep important elements, such as Danny's ability to "shine" and the horrors in an infamous hotel room (Room 237 in the film, and 217 in the novel), the ending and what role Jack plays in the hotel's lurid history is a little more vague.

Kubrick, who was known for his introspective films about the human condition and what drives man to his actions, creates a Jack Torrance who always looked like he was about to break from the very beginning. While the novel portrayed Jack as a sympathetic character come the end of the story where he saves his family from the ghosts of the Overlook, there is no redemption in Nicholson's take on the patriarch of the Torrance family.  Can you chalk that up to Nicholson's look?  Maybe.  He always looks manic so you knew his take on Mr. Torrance was going to be manic and unhinged.

Two other things I took away from this viewing of the showing was something good, and something not so good.  The good; The score.  Holy crap, but this score is relentless and puts you on edge nearly the entire film.  It's a driving score that is the heartbeat of the horrors to come.  Listening to it in surround sounds simply puts shivers down your spine.  The bad?  I'm sorry, but for the most part, the acting is pretty lackluster.  Sure, it was 1980, and it's a horror film, but goodness, Shelley Duvall and Scatman Crothers put forth some Razzie-worthy performances.  On the other hand, while Nicholson's performance is over the top, it's still haunting as a man who is succumbing to his own demons as well as the ghosts in the hotel.

As iconic as "The Shining" is, there are still problems with the film.  People have pointed out spacial issues with the hotel that make no sense, the fact that the Torrances had a lot of luggage to put into a small sedan, and other assorted things that simply didn't add up, but I think the reason why a lot of people overlook those irregularities was the fact that Stanley Kubrick was directing, and no one argues with Kubrick.  There's also the fact that this was a horror film and perhaps Kubrick was pointing out the silliness of horror films and the inconsistencies that all films of the genre possess.  Maybe that's reaching a little bit, but I wouldn't put it past Kubrick to create a parody of the horror genre before the horror genre had become a parody of itself.

Overall, "The Shining" stands the test of time, and aside from the silly clothes that most of the characters wear, the film is pretty timeless.  It takes a classic haunted house film, adds the creepiness of King, and incorporates the psychology of Kubrick, a combination that adds up to a horror film that is a cut above the rest.

Fun Fact:  Do you think you know what Kubrick was "really" trying to say in "The Shining?"  Check out "Room 237," a documentary about the "true" meanings behind "The Shining."

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 12


There were days when vampires were vampires and not whiny little bitches who sparkle in front of mouth-breathers.  Vampires were bad-ass creatures of the night that seduced women and drained them of their blood while making them their vampire mates.  Those were the days, or nights, if you will.

On this episode of Simply Horrifying we take on a little tale entitled "The Reluctant Vampire."  A really strong episode from season three that finds Malcom McDowell as the titular vampire who works the night shift at the blood bank.  Fearing for his job when a blood shortage hits, he succumbs to his primal nature to save the bank.

Click the link above for the full review, if you dare........

This is Halloween: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors: Imaginative

96mins/Horror/1987

This is it guys and girls!

This is the film that introduced me to horror and Freddy. Two loves that will never die for me. I remember that day, it was a cold rainy day and me and my family went to a farmers market early that morning. I walked around couldn't find a damn thing to buy, but I knew I wanted to buy something thou nothing had peaked my interest.

I began to check out a collection of VHS's that seem to just collect dust.

Then a beat up VHS cover came my way...



That is what I saw, and I was never the same again. I asked my mom, since it was rated R and I was like 6, she obliged; lucky for me! I went home holding the shit out of that VHS counting the time to when we would get home. It was getting late so once everyone went to bed and my tracking on the VHS player cleaned up that damn picture I begin to watch the film that would make me into a man that faithfully night!

Dream Warriors is the 3rd film in the Nightmare on Elm Street series, raking as one of the stronger Freddy films. This film is the one with the "puppet strings". My favorite kill on Freddy's slasher list and yes its a gory film if you didn't know, maybe the most out of all the Nightmares. This time around the the victims fight back using their own dreams to create a force Freddy has yet to see. This is a interesting turn in the films that really makes it stand out. Almost everyone agrees possibly the best sequel in the franchise.

Chuck Russell (The Mask, Eraser, The Scorpion King) does a fantastic job as Director. Sure its a bit goofy, gory and somewhat cheesy but its hands down one of the best entertainment bang for your buck of films in years. Its a film I would watch with friends and never get bored with the repeats we had with that one old beat up tape.


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