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Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts

Friday, October 31, 2014

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 32) Halloween Edition 2014

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY


On this Spooktacular Halloween edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys welcome back JD Duran from Insession Film.  Other than further corrupting this classy professional podcaster...the boys talk about Marvel's HUGE announcements, DC's HUGE announcements, gush over The Flash, bitch more about Gotham, comment on the Boardwalk Empire finale, Walking Dead premiere, and consider NBC's Constantine.  JD also gets to moderate our second ever draft, which this time involves the boys trying to make their best monster squad.  It's a razor 'blade in the apple' sort of show that you don't want to miss.

SHOW NOTES
Insession Film
Cenobites
The Monster Squad
Marvel Film Slate
DC Film Slate
Age Of Ultron Teaser
Age Of Ultron Extended
Ever See Chinatown Motherf@%ker?!
Skinny Zach Galafanakis
Jason Biggs pissing on Chelsea Handler


MUSIC NOTES
"Nightmare On My Street" By DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
"Autumn Thunder" By Sam Spence
"My Flows Is Tight" By Lord Digga
"Inside The Actors Studio" By Angelo Badalamenti



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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Yet Another 31 Nights of Halloween: American Horror Story: Freak Show

FINALLY
AHS: Freak Show - Finally

I would have written this article the week this show premiered, but the more I write reviews about the pilot episodes for shows, the more I realize that that is a pretty flawed review, case in point, my initial take on "Marvel's Agents of SHIELD," but there are also times when I'm right, case in point, "The Bridge." This isn't about me being right and wrong however, this is about me finally getting a show that I thought I would like, and low and behold, despite a few flaws here and there, I actually enjoy, albeit, I can only enjoy it for one season. "America Horror Story: Freak Show" combines the mythic qualities of the traveling side show, an interesting cast of characters, and of course, one of the creepiest depictions of a clown since Pennywise. I'm finally on the "American Horror Story" bandwagon.

"Freak Show" is essentially the story of murder and mayhem in a small Florida town in the 1950s. The added twist is that Elsa Mars' Freak Show is in town, making them the prime suspects. Meanwhile, conjoined twins Bette and Dot Tattler are under investigation for the murder of their mother, but are spirited away by Elsa to join her troupe of freaks. What we find out that no one else knows yet, is that the actual culprit of the murders, or at least most of the murders, is Twisty, a wandering clown who loves magic tricks, juggling, stabbing people with scissors, and abducting children.

The main complaint that a lot of people have about "AHS" is the extreme violence, and radical psycho-sexual aspects of the show. I mean, people, you kind of know what you are getting into when watching a show about depraved and disturbed people; you are going to see some crazy sh*t, it's just the way it is. Growing up watching horror my whole life, there is very little that can disturb me, but I guess since the (mainstream) horror genre has, for all intensive purposes, been de-balled, it's all the more shocking to see shocking things on TV. But I mean this is FX, their motto is literally "No Limits." Where is the surprise here people?

If you are a seasoned "AHS" vet, there are plenty of actors that you'll recognize from previous seasons, including Sarah Paulson, who I think steals the show as the conjoined Tattler twins, Jessica Lange, who is going all out in her final season of "AHS" as Elsa Mars, and Evan Peters as Jimmy Darling, the Lobster Boy, who has probably already given a few ladies a new idea to try in the bedroom. One of the bigger additions to the cast, no pun intended, is Michael Chiklis, who plays circus strongman, Dell Toledo. Being a huge fan of "The Shield" it's great to see Chiklis back on a network that gave him his most well known character, Vic Mackey. What gives the show even more cred is the use of actual "freaks" in the cast.

In an ultra-PC world that is so sensitive about the perceived needs and wants of those less fortunate, it's an interesting idea to use actual sideshow performers as many people I'm sure see this as a form of exploitation. When Todd Browning's "Freaks" was released in 1932, the uproar was unprecedented. Normally people would have to go to an actual circus freak show to see this assortment of oddities, but Browning put it right in everyone's face on the silver screen. Over 80 years later, we are seeing the same thing on Hulu, VOD, and live on Wednesday night right now FX. The other humorous thing is that you would think that people would be up-in-arms about the exploitation of real "freaks" on a show, but the real backlash is from actual clowns about the portrayal of Twisty the Clown. Zeitgeist of the times is most certainly at its funniest when people are worked up more about clowns than what people used to find reprehensible nearly a century ago.

While I generally enjoy "Freak Show" so far, there are a few things that I find simply off-putting, namely the misguided and just plain weird musical numbers. Not knowing much going into this season, the first musical number to me sounded natural and fit in with the era the show was working within. However, the next musical number, which was a re-working of the Fiona Apple "classic," "Criminal" complete with a mosh put and a midget crowd surfing.....yeah. I assume this will be a theme throughout this series, and it really takes me out of the moment. Combining the "Glee" elements with this show just seems like pandering to a few fans.

Where this season will go, and how far it will go, intrigues me to no end. The characters that are being created are rich and seem to have a lot of history to tell and the simple contrast of peaceful suburban life in the 1950s being disrupted by a serial-killing clown and a troupe of carnies creates a mood of dread and excitement.

Fun Fact: In 1991, Jim Rose Circus, a modern day Freak Show, plays the Lollapalooza Festival, starting a new wave of performers and resurgence of interest in the genre.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Yet Another 31 Nights of Halloween: Halloween (1978) Redux

MAGIC

 Halloween - Magic

Kicking off this year's edition of the "31 Nights of Halloween" I only felt it appropriate to re-review a film that we reviewed a long time ago, and really needs no introduction. It's the 1978 touchstone for horror; John Carpenter's "Halloween." This will also mark the first in a series of reviews all about the "Halloween" franchise, even the abysmal "Halloween: Resurrection." So away we go from Smith's Grove to Haddonfield.

"Halloween" starts with the murder of a young girl named Judith Myers by her 6-year old brother, Michael. After being institutionalized for 15 years under the watchful eye of Dr. Samuel Loomis, Michael is able to escape the Smith's Grove Sanitarium and Loomis knows there is only one place where he can be headed; the scene of his original crime in Haddonfield, Illinois.

Meanwhile we meet Laurie Strode and her friends Annie and Linda, just three girls looking to hook-up, smoke weed, and have a good time on Halloween, well, at least Annie and Linda are. Laurie is more the straight arrow type, looking forward to babysitting Tommy Doyle, watching "The Thing" and carving jack-o-lanterns. However, a dark presence has invaded the small town of Haddonfield and is looking to kill horny, weed smoking, babysitting teens.

As day turns into night, Dr. Loomis warns the local Sheriff, Leigh Brackett, that evil is coming to his little town and officers need to be on alert looking for Myers. Ever the skeptic, Brackett agrees to Loomis' demands, but tells him he's got until tonight to track down Myers.

Needless to say, Myers murder spree goes off without a hitch, victims including Annie and Linda, not to mention a dog, a horny boyfriend, and some stranger while on the road to Haddonfield. With only Laurie remaining, she is able to fight him off with a knitting needle, a wire hanger, and finally Michael's own knife. But you can't keep a good "unstoppable force" down as Michael moves in to finish off Laurie. However, putting the pieces together with the help of some screaming kids, Dr. Loomis comes to the rescue and empties his revolver into the chest of Michael and the nightmare is finally over as Myers falls over the balcony to his death.

As Loomis comforts Laurie and tells her that Michael was the boogeyman, the doctor leans over the balcony to observe his kill, but is shocked to see that Myers is gone, nowhere to be found.

There isn't much to say about "Halloween" that hasn't been said before; it's one of the best proto-slasher films ever made, outside of possibly "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." The different between Michael Myers and Leatherface, however, is where Leatherface is a hulking caricature of serial killers like Ed Gein, Myers is simply the silent force that cannot be stopped and there is no rhyme or reason. That makes the film so much scarier; you can't rationalize with something that you can't understand.

What makes "Halloween" stand apart from the rest of the crop of slasher fare that exploded in the 1980s was the sense of dread and the play on the fear of Halloween itself. This is more apparent in "Halloween 2" but you can still see how Halloween affects the town. The streets are empty, people lock themselves in the house, they don't open doors, and it's way easier to scare people, as Loomis does to a group of kids playing around the old Myers house. It's interesting to see moments of levity in a horror film. It's also interesting to look back at "Halloween" after seeing it the numerous sequels, that perhaps Haddonfield has always been that type of town that has harbored the terrible secret of the Myers murders and it's legacy. Despite the fact that "Halloween" and "Halloween 2" are supposed to be standalone films and the Myers arc is supposed to end, it makes a little more sense why the streets are empty in Haddonfield after dark and people are reluctant to open the doors to screams of terror, or at least that is the way that I look at it.

Getting away from the subtext of "Halloween" and more into the actual substance, there are numerous things that I simply love about this film. The biggest, and most long-lasting effect "Halloween" has made on the public, is the music, which for my money is nearly as recognizable as the "Star Wars" theme, "Jaws" theme, or any other soundtrack theme ever. It still can raise the hair on the back of your neck, and just hearing the opening piano notes, people will automatically say "Oh, Michael Myers." And while "Halloween" is a great film on it's own, it wouldn't be half the film it is without John Carpenter's score.

The characters and actors are top notch as well. I'm not a child of the 70s, shoot, I'm barely a child of the 80s, but if I was to venture a guess, I would assume that Annie, Laurie, and Linda, are pretty typical kids of the 1970s. The talk about guys, do drugs, and get into trouble. My one gripe would be the overuse of the word "Totally" by Linda. If my count is correct, I heard "Totally" 13 times; probably close to the amount of screen time Linda gets, so you get a "Totally" a minute. There is also a lot of name dropping in this film, which I guess is a thing. The most famous of them all is Ben Tramer, who has a pseudo-important role in the sequel. These, again, are just minor quibbles.

The last thing that really stands up is the actual creation and depiction of Michael Myers. Pure and simple, there is no rhyme or reason behind Myers, he just is. In later sequels it's explained, sort of, that he worships Samhain and his reason for killing is that he is the curse of his family name, so he mist kill all members of his family? That stuff is just weird, but if you just take the first film into account, the fact that there really isn't a reason for the murder of his sister and the senseless murder of everyone else, is pretty scary. Even in our daily lives, we constantly search for the what if's and why's when something awful happens. From mass shootings, to serial killings, to everything in-between, we want to know why. In the case of Michael Myers, there is no why, the only explanation is that he is pure evil, which when you think about a doctor saying that (Loomis) is pretty silly, but it's also understandable. Sometimes there is no reason for bad things that happen, which is both frustrating, and terribly frightening.

For a film being close to 40 years old, "Halloween" has aged very well. The scares are timeless, the music adds to the never-ending sense of dread, and the characters are still pretty relatable. You can go into the film deeper and talk about how it either exploits women, empowers women, or is a morality tale that punishes the evil people who do drugs and have sex out of wedlock, but that's for another review, and I'm looking at this from a pure horror film aspect, and the film still plays very well. While there might be scarier films out there, "Halloween" for my money, can still scare someone who hasn't seen it and is a milestone for not only horror, but film in general.

Fun Fact: It took John Carpenter four days to complete the score for "Halloween."

Friday, November 1, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 13


Happy post-Halloween you creeps!  In this 13th episode of Simply Horrifying we have an episode that probably is the most memorable in my opinion.  Being a child of the late 1980s and early 1990s one of my favorite movies has "The Goonies" and this episode, entitled "Undertaking Parlor" has the finger prints of "The Goonies" all over it.

A group of friends stumble upon a town conspiracy to kill it's riches residents and profit off of their funerals.  Starring John Glover as the town mortician and Data from "The Goonies" as Josh, the aspiring film director of the group, can three four friends put a stop to this evil plot or murder for profit.

Click the link above for the full review and don't forget to subscribe, comment, or leave us hate mail, if you dare......

Thursday, October 31, 2013

This is Halloween: The Haunted Mask

The Haunted Mask: Fun

22mins each/44mins Total/Horror/1995

The Haunted Mask is the 11th book and episode 1 and 2 of season 1.


It's about a girl, Carly Beth who gets picked on because she's easily scared. She's the joke of the school and because of that is pushed into buying a mask that will turn her weakness into her ultimate revenge.

This book stands out as of of the more popular stories. I became a big fan when the 2 part episode was released on VHS. As a kid this was one of the films that I would play ever year for Halloween. 

The acting is what you would expect from a 90's children's TV show. The real reason this is a staple of 90's kids is the story. It works almost too good. It's not just about a girl who wants revenge, but the mask Carly picks changes her, it attaches to her and takes her over.




The Mask
The "unobtainable, unloved ones" all look pretty cool. In fact I find that I like some of the others more then the one she picks. But that's not to say the one she picks isn't good, it really is badass looking. The issue is the lighting. They should of made it a bit darker because the mask doesn't work as awesome in the brighter night shoots. But the voice and the darker scenes really make the mask work, especially when she begins to get angry and the mask begins to sweat.

These episodes aren't the scariest of the show. But they're very enjoyable and have a deeper meaning of excepting ones self and not trying to be different for anyone else.


Thanks for reading guys and girls!
Happy Halloween!




The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: October Edition


 The boys are back with another hard-hitting, face-melting, knee-slapping, balls-to-the-wall edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  October draws to a close with Halloween on their minds as they breakdown the best Horror Monsters/Villains/Demons of all-time.

The boys also vent their anger in another round of "Hey F%*khead" and no one is safe.  Everyone from Julliane Hough to Michael Bay are ripped limb from limb for their stupidity and overall douchebaggery.

Add in some TV talk, Casper the Friendly Rapist, and a barn-full of shenanigans and you got a podcast worth downloading and listening to while you're running on the elliptical machine.  Enjoy!

Show Notes:

Julianne Hough in Blackface
Chris Brown Still Beating People
History of Halloween
Scariest Horror Villains


FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

Click HERE to listen to podcast

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This is Halloween: The Shining (1980)

ICONIC
The Shining - Iconic

I hate to be so cliche when it comes to "The Shining" but since I like it not only as a horror film, but as a film in general, it's hard not to call it iconic.  It's the first film in the pseudo-slasher genre that was taken seriously by not only horror fans, but film historians and pundits.  I mean Stanley Kubrick directed it for goodness sake!  One of the most important directors in the past 75 years chose to follow up his epic "Barry Lyndon" with a Stephen King adaptation.

While I'm too young to have gotten the chance to experience this film in the theater during it's initial theatrical run, luckily "The Shining" was being screened during one of Cinemark Classic Series months.  Myself, and two friends, got the chance to experience the way all film should be witnessed; on the big screen.  While I don't fully agree with complete restoration when it comes to old films (I still like to see the cracks and film burns when I'm watching something that was actually shot on film as opposed to digital) the job they did on "The Shining" to clean it up and and preserve it was well done and didn't take away from it being scary or it's overall tone.  Another cool thing that I noticed was the night we watched the film, October 30th, was the same day in which The Overlook Hotel closes for the Winter in the film.  Eerie and awesome.

As a refresher, "The Shining" is based on the 1977 novel by Stephen King about a possessed hotel, The Overlook, and the Torrance family, who become it's latest victims.  I highlight based because when "The Shining" was released it did not receive a seal of approval from King himself, who dismissed it and still holds it as one of his least favorite adaptions of his works, and there are many changes from the book to the film. The film features Jack Nicholson in the starring role as Jack Torrance, and former school teacher with a violent past who struggled with alcoholism.  Looking to get away and start a new writing project, Jack accepts the caretaker's job at the Overlook Hotel deep in the heart of the Rocky Mountains.  With his wife and son in tow, the descent into madness begins.

Straying from King's novel, Kubrick creates an original take that I think works very well.  The film becomes less about the supernatural and more about the breakdown of the psyche when isolated and away from society.  While the film does keep important elements, such as Danny's ability to "shine" and the horrors in an infamous hotel room (Room 237 in the film, and 217 in the novel), the ending and what role Jack plays in the hotel's lurid history is a little more vague.

Kubrick, who was known for his introspective films about the human condition and what drives man to his actions, creates a Jack Torrance who always looked like he was about to break from the very beginning. While the novel portrayed Jack as a sympathetic character come the end of the story where he saves his family from the ghosts of the Overlook, there is no redemption in Nicholson's take on the patriarch of the Torrance family.  Can you chalk that up to Nicholson's look?  Maybe.  He always looks manic so you knew his take on Mr. Torrance was going to be manic and unhinged.

Two other things I took away from this viewing of the showing was something good, and something not so good.  The good; The score.  Holy crap, but this score is relentless and puts you on edge nearly the entire film.  It's a driving score that is the heartbeat of the horrors to come.  Listening to it in surround sounds simply puts shivers down your spine.  The bad?  I'm sorry, but for the most part, the acting is pretty lackluster.  Sure, it was 1980, and it's a horror film, but goodness, Shelley Duvall and Scatman Crothers put forth some Razzie-worthy performances.  On the other hand, while Nicholson's performance is over the top, it's still haunting as a man who is succumbing to his own demons as well as the ghosts in the hotel.

As iconic as "The Shining" is, there are still problems with the film.  People have pointed out spacial issues with the hotel that make no sense, the fact that the Torrances had a lot of luggage to put into a small sedan, and other assorted things that simply didn't add up, but I think the reason why a lot of people overlook those irregularities was the fact that Stanley Kubrick was directing, and no one argues with Kubrick.  There's also the fact that this was a horror film and perhaps Kubrick was pointing out the silliness of horror films and the inconsistencies that all films of the genre possess.  Maybe that's reaching a little bit, but I wouldn't put it past Kubrick to create a parody of the horror genre before the horror genre had become a parody of itself.

Overall, "The Shining" stands the test of time, and aside from the silly clothes that most of the characters wear, the film is pretty timeless.  It takes a classic haunted house film, adds the creepiness of King, and incorporates the psychology of Kubrick, a combination that adds up to a horror film that is a cut above the rest.

Fun Fact:  Do you think you know what Kubrick was "really" trying to say in "The Shining?"  Check out "Room 237," a documentary about the "true" meanings behind "The Shining."

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 12


There were days when vampires were vampires and not whiny little bitches who sparkle in front of mouth-breathers.  Vampires were bad-ass creatures of the night that seduced women and drained them of their blood while making them their vampire mates.  Those were the days, or nights, if you will.

On this episode of Simply Horrifying we take on a little tale entitled "The Reluctant Vampire."  A really strong episode from season three that finds Malcom McDowell as the titular vampire who works the night shift at the blood bank.  Fearing for his job when a blood shortage hits, he succumbs to his primal nature to save the bank.

Click the link above for the full review, if you dare........

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 11


What's scarier than a watching a stage version of "Hamlet?"  How about Jon Lovitz as the lead.  Of course I'm not putting Jon Lovitz down, even if Andy Dick did wish death upon him, I still think he's great.

"Top Billing" is another fine episode from the already great third season of "Tales from the Crypt."  The aforementioned Lovitz plays a down on his luck actor looking for his big break.  Seeing an ad for a stage production of "Hamlet" he thinks he's finally found it, or has he?

Click the link above for the latest edition of Simply Horrifying, if you dare.......

Monday, October 28, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 10


After a bit of dead silence, Simply Horrifying is back!  In this ghoulish offering we witness what some people will do for money.  Pretend to kill themselves mostly, but if you think there won't be any repercussions, you have to be out of your mind.

"The Trap" directed by Michael J. Fox, is an entry from the "Shock Suspenstories" line of comics where "Double Indemnity" is given a run for it's money.  Starring Bruce McGill and Teri Garr, as a couple just dying to make it rich, "The Trap" is one of the stronger early episodes from Season Three of "Tales from the Crypt."

Click the link above for the full review, if you dare......

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

This is Halloween: Maniac (2012)

Maniac (2012) - Perspective

PERSPECTIVE
In modern horror, the thought of re-making fringe horror films is always confusing to me. What audience is this re-make for?  Who is going to see it?  Is it viable for a studio to release a film that maybe a handful of people will see, let alone be nostalgic for?  I raise my hand proudly!  I love cult horror films, they always hold a special please in my sick little heart.  Some of my fondest memories, like I've mentioned before, was watching USA's Up All Night, and MonsterVision on TNT with Joe Bob Briggs.

While horror in recent years has been stripped of its soul and replaced with found footage and other nonsense, it's nice to know that someone is still out there respecting the cult horror of yesteryear.  That person is Alexandre Aja.  This Frenchman knows his horror, even if its over-the-top, gut-wrenching, blood-soaked horror, its the horror that I love.  He knows just how far to push the exploitation envelop, and while he might not have directed the film I'm about to get into reviewing, he was the brainchild behind developing  the 2012 remake of "Maniac" based on the 1980 original.

"Maniac" stars Elijah Wood as Frank, a loner who runs a mannequin shop in an unnamed urban sprawl.  Devoted to his work, needless to say he has a hard time connecting with the opposite sex, so he does what any normal person would do;  he trolls dating sites (a plot point that quickly loses steam), murders, and scalps women.  That is until the day he meets Anna, a young artist interested in his mannequins.  While Frank tries to pursue a normal relationship with Anna, his thirst for blood is unquenchable and he continues to kill.

Sure, I'm simplifying the plot for sake of spoilers, but there is a lot to like about "Maniac."  While there are are deviations from the original, namely the infamous "Disco Boy Scene" the remake focuses on Frank's relationship with his mannequins, women, and his rather complicated mommy issues.  While the "Disco Boy Scene" would have been cool to see with modern SFX, it would have added nothing to the remake overall.  But fret not gorehounds, there are plenty of moments where you'll forget all about "Disco Boy."

Comparing the original "Maniac" to it's remake is tough to do.  The original relies on tension, with a grimier and grittier look, very reminiscent to Martin Scorsese's "Taxi Driver."  Joe Spinell, who was already a pretty rough looking dude, plays Frank to a tee and there is never any doubt he's a maniac.  The on-screen murders are brutal and you feel the terror of his victims as well as the pain of Spinell who is acting against his will and can't stop killing.

This time around Elijah Wood plays Frank, and while you might think Wood as a murderous creep is a tough sell, see what he did in "Sin City" as Kevin, or just see what he's doing now as Ryan Newman on "Wilfred."  Wood gives a convincing performance as the twisted serial killer who collects scalps, which he adorns to the top of his mannequins' heads.

The choice to shoot most of the film from Frank's perspective is an interesting choice.  It's found footage without being found footage.  I would almost consider "Maniac" the serial killer version of "Enter the Void," from Gaspar Noe.  You might even call this film a "first-person killer."  There are a few scenes where the camera swings around to reveal Frank making a kill, but for the most part, I like the idea of "actually" see ing through the eyes of the killer.

Is 2012's "Maniac" and improvement over the original?  It all depends on your perspective.  The original was playing up the fears of the still-fresh-in-their-minds "Son of Sam" murders in New York from the late 1970s, so it was reasonably timely and terrifying at the same time.  The remake is pretty much a shot in the dark, cashing in on the found footage craze and the dying out torture-porn aesthetic.  It's also rips off some of the retro-style of "Drive," however, I respect the fact that directors and writers who are fans of cult genre fare, like "Maniac," decided to take the proverbial stab at making a genre film that only hardcore horror fans would be familiar with.  I salute Aja and director Franck Khalfoun for creating something with teeth to compete against dribble like "Paranormal Activity 45: Stop Moving Into This House!" and doing a little-known classic justice some 30 years later.

Fun Fact:  "Goodbye Horses" by Q. Lazzarus, is featured in another prominent film; 1991's "Silence of the Lambs" which also featured a serial killer who murdered women.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 09



Welcoming you back to the Crypt, this is Matt with another edition of Simply Horrifying.  As we creep into Season Three of "Tales from the Crypt" we start off with a real bang, and a snap, and a pluck of your eyeballs with the help of a circling vulture.

"Carrion Death" is not only a clever name, but it's also a damn good episode starring  Kyle MacLachlan as a murderer who not only just escaped death row, but just robbed a bank too.  What a go-getter.  With a cop in hot pursuit, Mexico in sight, and a pesky vulture looking to grab the leftovers, what will become of this unlikely trio?

For the full review, click the link above, if you dare.......

Friday, October 18, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 08


Welcome back to Simply Horrifying as we reach an end to Season Two of "Tales from the Crypt" with a twisted tale of secrets identities entitled, cleverly enough, "The Secret."  It's a nice wrap-up to the season that was arguably the strongest season out of the entire series.  Also of note was that this was the second episode in the series featuring Larry Drake, who you might remember as the psycho Santa in the Season One episode, "And All Through the House."

Click the link above for the full review, if you dare.......

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 07


The number seven is lucky for some, but guess what, it isn't for you!  HAHAHA!  Well, you must be kind of lucky if you're back and ready to enjoy another episode of Simply Horrifying.  In this terrifying tale we see what it really takes to make it in show business as Morton Downey Jr stars in "Television Terror" one of the first haunted house-style stories to appear on "Tales from the Crypt."

Click the link above for the reviews, if you dare.....

This is Halloween (TV): Toy Story of Terror

DEVILISHLY
Toy Story of Terror - Devilishly

The one thing you can count on with Pixar is that you always get quality.  Despite some of their weaker efforts ("Cars" "Cars 2" to a lesser extent, "Brave") there always seems to be a silver lining to anything Pixar creates.  I may not like "Cars" but I can respect that it looks gorgeous.  Sorry "Cars" fans, I just don't find fart jokes spun by a redneck comedian to be very funny.

While most Pixar fare is made for the big screen, and evokes such emotion and heart, its nice to see that Disney/Pixar (yes, I'll give Disney their due) created something for the Halloween season, and it very well might be the best thing you'll see this Fall.  This of course is the devilishly clever "Toy Story of Terror" a spooky mini adventure starring all of your favorite "Toy Story" pals.

The writers at Pixar have to be some of the best writers in the world.  They know how to perfectly cater to fans of Disney while at the same time sneaking in little odes and jabs to other films and their appropriate genres and fans.  They just get it, simple as that.  "Terror" begins at some point after "Toy Story 3" ends.  Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the crew are in the care of Bonnie as they head to some undisclosed location on a dark and stormy night.  After a flat tire, Bonnie, her mother, and the toys settle into a roadside motel while they wait for the tow truck in the morning.  Needless to say, hi-jinks and close-calls ensue and of course there is a happy ending.  Like most Pixar films, its not the story that's always compelling, its the actual journey.

What I respect the most is that all the voices from the previous "Story" films return, including Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, and Joan Cusack, but there are also a few extra treats along the way, including Ken Marino, or as I like to refer to him as, Louie, the "I WANNA DIP BY BALLS IN IT" guy.

Along with Ken Marino, what would a "Toy Story" be without some new characters, and the best has to be Combat Carl, voiced by Carl Weathers.  This character is so perfect and I love the subtle reference to "Predator" thrown in as Combat Carl is missing a hand.  Those are the things that make me love Pixar.  Who would throw in a "Predator" reference into a TV show made for children?

Timothy Dalton is also great as Mr. Pricklepants, who's essentially Randy from the "Scream" series.  He calls out horror movie cliches at every turn and it's wonderful to see it done in a Shakespearean way.  The more I think about "Terror" is that the animation is for the kids, while the dialogue is made for adults who love horror and action films.  Maybe Shane Black ghostwrote this entire special?

Bottom line, "Toy Story of Terror" is a wonder to behold.  The story is perfect for the time allotted, the introduction of new toys now looking for their owner adds a great side story to the entire "Toy Story" mythology, and Pixar and Disney spare no expense to create a standalone story that rivals anything in the Pixar catalog.  Hopefully this tradition continues and becomes this generation's "Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin."

Fun Fact:  Everyone knows that the Cowboy Woody doll is pretty sought after in the "Toy Story" universe.  You'll notice that the $2,000 winning bid was from Al McWhiggin of Al's Toy Barn.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 06


Prepare for another murderous and marauding romp as we re-enter the Crypt for another edition of Simply Horrifying.  In one of the more interesting, and lighter, episodes we have Harry Anderson, who you might remember from "Night Court," as an artist working for "Tales from the Crypt" who's creations are suddenly taking on a life of their own after he begins taking experimental pills for his little "bedroom problem."  The episode is entitled "Korman's Kalamity," and while the episode is goofy and ridiculous it still have enough gore and monsters to come off as a little scary.

One other interesting tidbit is the fact that "Korman's" was directed by Rowdy Herrington, the man behind the 1989 classic, "Road House." Enough said.

Click the video above for the full review, if you dare......

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

This Is Halloween: The American Scream

The American Scream - Spirit
SPIRIT


What's American?  Apple pie?  Baseball?  Government shutdowns?  Sure, all these things makes America great, but something has to be missing....what could it be? How about starting your own business, being an entrepreneur?  That's one thing, admittedly, America is good at doing.  In the documentary, "The American Scream," we follow three people taking their obsession to new heights: the art of creating homemade haunted houses.

In the town of Fairhaven, Massachusetts, Halloween is a big deal, as it usually is in a small town.  Sure, you have your houses that only put out a jack-o-lantern or maybe some cobwebs in the windows, but three particular residences in Fairhaven turn their homes into "house haunts."

"The American Scream" follows Victor Bariteau, an office drone who dreams of turning his house haunt into a full time job, the father and son team of Matt and Richard Brodeur, who share an interesting and symbiotic relationship, and finally Manny Souza, a city worker who recently suffered a heart attack and who's house haunt is in danger of not getting done on time.

The documentary begins 31 days before Halloween as all three families are starting to prep for the big day.  What makes this film so interesting is how much the holiday means to each family, but at the same time how it turns them against each other, to a degree.  Victor, who dreams of making this once a year holiday his career, has sacrificed spending Halloween with his family, such as trick-or-treating.  Keeping up on repairs to his house has also suffered, leaving his home a mess.  Manny tries to keep up with Victor, and does a decent job, but with him not being in the best of health has to rely on the kindness of strangers that share his love for the holiday.

"The American Scream" offers a look into a holiday that many retail stores pass over most of the time.  Sure, you have your costume shops like "Spirit of Halloween" and "Halloween Express" but by the time October comes around, Christmas decorations are already up in stores, and aside from sales on candy, Halloween is a holiday that is treated like the bastard child of American holidays.  Hell, Arbor Day gets nearly as much publicity.  It's refreshing to see a small community get behind a holiday like Halloween an give it the respect it deserves.

While some people do get into the holiday spirit, that holiday is usually Christmas.  You have bright lights, shining stars, and who could forget that cute little manger scene that folks are so keen on.  You look at Halloween and you have everything that is anti-Christian; ghosts, goblins, and zombies, but, if you read your Bible, the Good Book is full of things that you might consider evil; Satan, ghosts, and vengeful spirits.  I might be getting a little off-topic here but why is Halloween usually treated with such contempt, while there was plenty of superstitious nonsense going on during Christmas.

Getting back to small towns,  Halloween is a much bigger deal, and it shows in "The American Scream."  It shows that Halloween brings people together and is a much more communal holiday than that of Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I mean you don't let people into your house when you're having Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner, but you will nearly invite people into your home to collect candy or enter a spooky haunted house that takes you months to construct so that it can be enjoyed for just one evening.  That's putting heart into a holiday.

Living in Florida, I weep sometimes when I see what states like Pennsylvania, New York, Massachusetts, and California do to commemorate Halloween.  Sure, we have Halloween Horror Nights, one of the better Halloween-themed attractions in the state, but the costs for Horror Nights have become astronomical and price a lot of true Halloween fans out.  In states like Pennsylvania and Massachusetts, where Halloween still truly lives and breathes, its created by true fans of the holiday who want to share their joy with the masses.  Sure, there is money to be made, but you can't put a price tag on screams and the adrenaline rush you get when a man with a fake ax and a skeleton mask jumps out of the dark to scare you half to death.  That's "The American Scream" right there.

Fun Fact:  According to Haunt World, the best Haunted Attraction in the US in 2013 is The 13th Floor/The Asylum in Denver, CO.

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 05


Welcome to Hell Muthafu*ka!  Or....just welcome back to another edition of Simply Horrifying as we continue our jaunt down memory lane remembering some of the best episodes of "Tales from the Crypt."  In this episode, which is also one of my favorites, we have two comedians in the starring role, one being the immortal Don Rickles and the other being "Bobcat" Goldthwait, as two ventriloquists in "The Ventriloquist's Dummy."

Directed by Richard Donner, "Dummy" is the story of a retired ventriloquist and a young up-and-coming ventriloquist's attempt to back in big.  Remember a long time ago when ventriloquist's were treated like kings and women threw themselves at them wishing they were the puppets?  Well, neither do I.

This episode offers a pretty good twist and both comedians put out pretty good performances, mainly Rickles who is pretty convincing as the retired performing holding back a dark secret.  All in all, one of the better episodes from Season Two.

Click the link above for the full review, if you dare......

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

This Is Halloween: Scream 2

OUTLIER
Scream 2 - Outlier

Certain things sell me on a film, especially a horror film.  The main thing(s) is whether it keeps me interested, engaged, and I'm able to care about a few of the characters.  You wouldn't normally say that a soundtrack for a film is what made you like the film even more.  However, "Scream 2" is that type of film, an outlier where the soundtrack is as good as the film itself.  But of course there is an excellent movie hidden behind the soundtrack.

"Scream 2" the first sequel in the popular "Scream" series is "The Godfather II" of the horror genre.  Not only is Wes Craven back, with Kevin Williamson penning the screenplay again, but Craven ups the ante and creates a sequel that provides more laughs, more tension, and an even hipper cast than the first film, including Raylan Givens.  Once again we start with a sequence that later in the series becomes standard protocol where a famous person(s) that you wouldn't think would get killed, gets killed.  Meanwhile, Sidney Prescott, our heroine in the previous film, has gone off the college where she's followed by Ghostface.  But wait, you might say, "Wait a minute, Ghostface is dead, that was Billy Loomis and his buddy Stu!"  I would rebuttal and say, "You know what would have been cool, if Ghostface Killah played Ghostface!"  I still say we get that petition signed and just cast "Scream 5" with everybody from the Wu-Tang Clan.

While Sidney is trying to adjust to college life, a new boyfriend, and playing Cassandra, her friends are killed one at a time by Ghostface, who just LOVES sequels; they're bloodier, sillier, and have ridiculous plot twists.  While "Scream 2" is all of this and more, the fact that it's self-aware without being fully self-aware works extremely well.  The characters never follow their own advice even though they try to justify their decisions for being the typical horror stereotypes.  Just like the first "Scream" the characters are likable and are typical of the slasher genre, but Craven and Williamson do a great job of expanding the world of Woodsboro from it's small town beginnings in the first film, to a college campus where there is a larger group of suspects in a more condensed, claustrophobic area.

Now, let me get back to the real reason to like this film; the soundtrack.  If you haven't enjoyed the "Scream 2" soundtrack, do yourself a favor and give it a listen.  The tracks range from Master P to Dave Matthews Band, but I still think there should have been some Wu-Tang on the soundtrack, it just seems like a lost opportunity.

Overall, "Scream 2" would have been a great way to end the series, but what would a horror series be without a few more sequels, which we got with the underwhelming "Scream 3" and the underrated "Scream 4."  However, "Scream 2" stands alone as a horror sequel that not only meets a fan's expectations but was so much more than a cooker-cutter sequel to make more money.  While Wes Craven's record as a horror director had been spotty since "A Nightmare on Elm Street," the "Scream" franchise gave him a second lease on life, and "Scream 2" stands as one of his best efforts in a career that spans over 40 years.  An outlier indeed, "Scream 2" gives you what you want, but it gives it in a way where excess isn't required.

Fun Fact:  As if there wasn't enough to like about "Scream 2," Danny Elfman, composer of "Batman," "Spider-man," and former lead singer of Oingo Boingo, took the time to compose the Cassandra theme heard HERE for the film.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Simply Horrifying featuring Tales from the Crypt Ep. 04


Welcome back fiendish freaks to another edition of Simply Horrifying.

"Cutting Cards" the third episode from Season Three stars Lance Henriksen, who you might remember from "Aliens" and "Pumpkinhead" and Kevin Tighe, who you might remember even better from "Road House" and who played Locke's Daddy in the TV series "Lost," as two high stakes gamblers with a love/hate relationship with each other.

Of course you know how gamblers get once the stakes get high; first you lose some money, then you lose your dignity, next thing you know you're playing Russian Roulette and are starting to lose fingers.  Hey, have you even been to Vegas?

This is Walter Hill's second episode as the director, his first since the show's inaugural episode, "The Man Who Was Death" which starred William Sadler, who also starred in the first "Tales From the Crypt" themed film, "Demon Knight."

While the episode is silly, it's still unnerving because you have to believe that there are plenty of people in the world that really do go this far when it comes to gambling.

Check out the full review above, if you dare.......

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