Slaughter Film Presents: Action Movie Time Machine - Twin Dragons

DOUBLE LACKING

Well, well, well we meet again. I take it that two Jean-Claude Van Dammes wasn’t too much for you. After all he does happen to speak with an accent…if you haven’t noticed. This can be confusing for some… apparently. All aboard the Action Movie Time Machine!

The year is 1992. Yeah, we’re back in the early 90s… again. Not much has changed since that last time we visited. TWA declares bankruptcy. Mike Tyson plays his own game of Punch-Out with a woman he is convicted of raping, and there were plenty of toy related movies to watch. Ironically enough, both “Toys” starring Robin Williams is released as well as the direct to video “Demonic Toys”, for those of you who thought “Toys“ wasn‘t creepy enough. All this and Jackie Chan discovers that he has a long lost twin brother in “Twin Dragons“.

THE SKINNY

The film begins in black and white during the mid-60s. A woman has just given birth to a pair of beautiful baby boys. Meanwhile, police are wheeling in a wounded man who made an attempt to escape capture. However, this man still has some fight left in him. He regains consciousness, swipes a cops gun and starts to shoot his way out of the hospital. He is cut off from the exit and makes his way to the very same room the mother is in with her sons. Using one of the boys as a human shield, he leaps through a window and makes his escape. The human shield is soon discarded and later discovered by a drunken slut.

Now modern day, we learn that one brother, John, has been raised by his loving parents and at a young age became a piano prodigy. As an adult John is a world renowned conductor. On the other side of the coin we have Boomer, who practically raised himself and is now a hard fucking, shit talking stock car racer/mechanic.

 

This story gets interesting when we see John travel to Hong Kong for a piano concert, and during this concert, Boomer, who happens to be repairing a car, suddenly can’t control the movements of his fingers. The twins are somehow psychically connected when they are near each other.

Soon we see Boomer and his friend Tyson, another racer, making their escape. As it turns out the duo owe a local mob boss a considerable amount of money. Boomer and Tyson hustled them into a race, thinking they could win…they didn’t. Now the mob wants them to pay up.

A boat chase ensues that lands Tyson in a body cast. The hospital Tyson is staying in happens to pay protection money to the mob, so for the time being he belongs to the mob and is their prisoner. To guarantee Tyson’s safety, Boomer gets roped into taking care of the mob’s dirty work. Driving mostly. In fact there is a plot to sprint another, higher ranking mob boss.

 

This gets complicated when John arrives in Hong Kong to conduct a concert. Soon the two are thrust into a constantly evolving case of mistaken identity that involves the mob, an angry Iron Maiden fan, kung-fu conducting and the love interests of both men which results in fast paced slapstick fight scenes. At one point, both brothers share a bath with one of the women -- one brother pretending to be a mirror so they don’t get found out like it was some sort of Marx Brothers gag.

As far as their love interests are concerned, each brother has a female acquaintance who the other brother falls for. This is an obvious set up for hijinx that will later result in some sticky situations, a romantic ending and even an opportunity for them to be taken hostage. The later never happens. I guess the mob figures that Tyson is good enough.

 

Anyhow, once John and Boomer have understood that they are twins, they decide that they are in this together and hatch a plan to rescue Tyson.

The brothers head to the mob’s hideout near the docks. The next twenty minutes of the film are one big fight sequence that moves form the docks and into a Mitsubishi car factory. First the showroom, then the crash test area and later the assembly line.

For a brief time Boomer is trapped in some sort of cage and John, a man who know music not fighting, must defend himself. With his wonder twin powers, Boomer throws punches and kicks that force John’s arms and legs to move. Boomer controls his brother this way. Lol He moves him like a puppet and ends up saving his life.

 

The brothers rescue Tyson and send the mob boss, Boss Wind, rocketing into a wall inside one of the crash test cars.

The film ends with the two brothers marrying their women in a twin wedding. I told you there would be romance in the end.

THE VERDICT

Much like “Double Impact“, this action film stands out from others because it features twin brothers. Unlike “Double Impact”, this film features the fast paced and often humorous fight choreography that is often found in Jackie Chan films. “Twin Dragons” also tries to build upon the supposed supernatural connection that twins are said to possess. If you hadn’t thought of it yet yourself, “Twin Dragons” has a lot like in common with Cheech & Chong’s “Corsican Brothers”. Of course in that film each brother feels the physical pain of the other and in this film the brother’s physical movements are caused by the other when they are in close quarters.

While the action in this film is pretty good, my only complaints focus on the plot and how it unfolds. I feel that too much of the film focuses on the humorous hijinx the brothers experience during their travels, which is entertaining, but this makes the story seem watered down and even vacant in parts. The mob boss doesn’t even have a clear criminal plot. They have Tyson as a hostage and that’s about it. I wish there was a plot mechanism that forced both brothers to work together to fight the mob. Instead they decide to work together because… they look alike? Maybe because they are together each time the mob assigns them to the next task, i.e. deliver a brief case, drive a getaway car, ect…

The thing that’s strange about this “separated at birth” story is that the two brothers never discover that they are brothers. Not until the very end anyhow. This whole movie they  think it’s strange that they are doppelgangers and even say that they would make good brothers.

I think some of this poor story telling has to do with the English dub. While it sounds good and doesn’t come off as odd as many dubs do. I feel like something has been lost in translation. The character names for instance are John, Boomer and Tyson, but according to IMDB the original names were Ma Yau, Die Hard and Tarzan. Weird and wild stuff.

 

In the end “Twin Dragons” isn’t the best twin related action movie. It isn’t even that great of a regular action movie as it feels more like a comedy. But it will hold your attention and might be worth checking out if you are a fan of Jackie Chan.

I’m Cory Carr and this concludes our ride on the “Action Movie Time Machine”. Until next time, Semper Fi!

For more from Cory, check out his website slaughterfilm.com, where he and his good friend Forest Taylor record weekly podcasts, reviewing the films that are legendary, even in Hell!

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Miami Connection

FRIENDSHIP

Miami Connection - Friendship

Being born in the early 1980s, I really missed out on that grand decade of acid-wash, cocaine cowboys, and mustaches.  Even though the early 1990s were simply an extension of the late 80s, I really wasn't cognizant of what the 80s had to offer until I was much older.  Once a decade of ridicule, the 80s have come back in a big way.  Between styles that hipsters are co-opting for their own gain, the revival of new wave pop, and of course the film "Drive," the 80s are back; at least in spirit of course.

Aside from the fashion, the 80s had no lack of action films.  For every "Die Hard" there was another "Surf Nazis Must Die."  For every "Predator" there was a "Krull."  The list goes on and on when it comes to cheesy 80s action films.  However, there was another constant in action films from the 80s; and that would be friendship.  From "Tango and Cash" to the bond between Riggs and Murtaugh in "Lethal Weapon," where would the action genre be without a great friendship?  This brings me to the forgotten classic from 1987, "Miami Connection," a study in how not to make a movie, but at the same time, the exact way every movie should be made.

"Miami Connection" is at heart a film about friends playing in an awesome band, "Dragon Sound," practicing Tae-Kwon-Do, chasing girls on the beach, and helping one of their own find their long last father.  There's a minor subplot about ninjas that sell cocaine, but never mind that.....because it makes NO SENSE!  If you're going into "Connection" looking for anything that doesn't fit a stereotype, you better return your VHS to your local Blockbuster Video.  However, if you want to experience the 1980s in all its glory there is no better way to celebrate the decade you're either trying to relive or forget than with this masterpiece.

The story behind "Connection" is nearly as entertaining as the film itself with star Y.K. Kim nearly bankrupting himself trying to make his masterwork  The Korean immigrant, and Tae-Kwon-Do master with no film experience whatsoever, decided to make a film, which at the time was considered a slap in the face to the industry, had to wait nearly 25 years to receive the credit that he thought he deserved back in 1987.  While that credit is entirely ironic, since "Connection" is really a schlock-fest cashing in films like "The Karate Kid," any credit it better than no credit at all.

What sets "Connection" apart from other action dribble from the 80s is it's earnest and sincere message.  Hell, during the closing credits a message pops up essentially saying "The only way to obtain world peace is through the elimination of violence;" a cheesy message that could only be said in decade that also introduced into our lexicon "Peace in the Middle East."  I just love the irony that the only way to stop violence is with violence to start.  But hey, the day you're in a pop-synth band playing the keytar shirt-less fighting cocaine-dealing ninjas from Miami, you might feel the need to be a little violent as well.

Bottom line, "Miami Connection" at heart, is a film about the bond of five orphans who are fed up with "stupid cocaine" looking for a friend's long-lost father, while playing some awesome music and fighting ninjas in Orlando.  What could be better?  Well, a lot, but it wouldn't be as rad as "Miami Connection."

Fun Fact: The song "Friends" was used in the retro-grade spin-off to "Far Cry 3;" "Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon," starring 80s hunk, Michael Biehn.

Also, make sure to check out Slaughter Film's live "riff" of "Miami Connection" on September 6th at midnight (so technically, September 7th) through this link, Click here dummy!

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Happy Holidays: Kill Bill

Kill Bill - Feet

After the brilliance of "Jackie Brown" and showing his critics that he wasn't just an exploiter of violence, our old friend, Quentin Tarantino, stood up, brushed the dirt off of his shoulders, straightened his tie, and said "Guess what motherfu*cker, I'm going to do an old-school kung-fu flick now!  What!"

Of course that's not what he said, but it would have been bad-ass if he did nonetheless.  After all the accolades of both "Pulp Fiction" and "Brown," Tarantino decided to work on his first pet project.  A true genre film that centered around one woman and her blood-thirsty quest for revenge against a group of assassins that tried to murder her on her wedding day.  That movie(s) is "Kill Bill" or as I like to call it "Uma's Got Some Hammertoe."

*I will be reviewing these films (Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2) as one film.  Sure, I could split it up into two reviews and make you wait for the second one just like QT made us wait in the theaters, but since it's the holiday season, I'll do you guys a solid.

As mentioned above, the core of "Bill" is a revenge film, wrapped in a Shaw Bros. movie, encased in a Shakespearean tragedy, tied up with a nice bloody bow.  You can take Tarantino's three previous films and throw them out the window; "Kill Bill" is a love letter to a by-gone era of 1970s chop-socky karate flicks that members of the Wu-Tang Clan were getting high to back in the early 1990s. (side note:  RZA of the Wu-Tang Clan was the music supervisor for Vol 1.)

Across a four-plus hour epic, if watched back-to-back, Tarantino takes us on a blood-spattered journey with The Bride, our protagonist, as she extracts revenge the best way she knows how; with a samurai sword crated by Hattori Hanzo and the Five-Finger Exploding Heart Technique taught to her by Pai Mei, the mysterious karate master.  If you grew up in the golden age of karate movies, watched "The Green Hornet" or were "Protectin' Ya Neck" with the Wu back in 1993, Tarantino creates a world that you can still put in the same universe as "Pulp Fiction" and "Jackie Brown" but fashions it in a way that makes it seem other-worldly.

The plot is simple, but its the way that Tarantino weaves this revenge yarn that's the treat.  Told through a series of flashbacks and his trademark non-linear format, we see The Bride training with Pai Mei, learn how to walk again starting with just one wiggle of one toe, her vengeance on the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, and finally her face-off with Bill himself.  Oh, I almost forgot;  plenty of Uma Thurman feet through both films.  No need to head over to your local adult video store if you love feet, because Tarantino shares your tastes.

I know I might be selling this movie short, and I'm withholding a ton of information, including plot twists, but my recommendation is to stop reading this review, go out and buy "Kill Bill" and enjoy it for all it's worth.  Thurman's turn as the killer bride is good, but its funny how she all but fell off the face of Hollywood after what you might call her magnum opus.  One of David Carradine's last roles as Bill is almost as iconic as his turn as Caine in "Kung-Fu," and the fight scenes, as over-stylized as they are, are extremely fun to watch with plenty of arterial spray.  Chill.....have a pill, and watch "Kill Bill."

Fun Fact:  If you want to get creative you could call "Fox Force Five," first mentioned by Mia Wallace in "Pulp Fiction," as a precursor to the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.  There was a Black fox, Asian fox, French fox, and two American foxes.  Coincidence?

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The Raid: Redemption (Matt's Take)

The Raid: Redemption - Overkill

 The days are pretty much over where you get old-school action movies that say "Screw the story, we don't need a plot, let's just kick people in the face, shoot them in the head, and break necks!"  Sure, we have "The Expendables" but there hasn't been a good foreign action flick in quite a while.....OW!!!.....geez.....sorry, I just got kicked in the face by "The Raid: Redemption."

The premise is simple; an elite group of Indonesian cops are sent to a building in the slums of Jakarta where a vicious drug dealer resides and shit hits the fan, and by shit hitting the fan I mean, in honor of Joe Bob Briggs, Glock-fu, Baton-fu, Army Knife-fu, sniper rifle-fu, fluorescent light-fu, machete-fu, and hammer-fu.  The action is non-stop, except when the director decides to slow things down and try and incorporate an extremely thin plot.  Just throwing it out there but the director, Gareth Evans, is also Welsh (take that for what its worth).

The fight choreography is great (the film uses Pencak Silat as the main fighting technique).  Yayan Ruhian, who portrays "Mad Dog," acts as the choreographer of all the fights in the film and there are plenty of "Oh Shit!" moments.  The one issue I do have is the liberal use of CG blood.  It's not as bad as some movies (The Devil's Rejects comes to mind) and its hidden pretty well, but it does show up from time to time.

All in all, "The Raid: Redemption" is a fine "film" and an excellent exercise in the resurrection of the modern kung-fu movie.......owwwww......stop kicking my face!!!

Fun Fact:  The roots of the martial art Pencak Silat can be traced back to Java and Sumatra in the 7th Century.

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